Poster Boy

Chapter 3

“I still can’t believe you called her,” I groaned as we all stood there watching her create circles with crystals on our living room floor.

“I can’t believe there are two of them,” Jordan chimed in from next to me.

“Are those chicken feathers?!?” Niall asked. “What are they going to do with chicken feathers?”

“Be nice,” Jane instructed. “Kat is a certified oracle. She even brought her business partner Rae to help out. Two certified oracles. Nothing can stop them from being able to fix this!” Jane grinned happily. I really needed to have my sister tested for mental defects. “They said the crystals they brought can cure everything.” Yeah. Maybe I should just call up the nice men in white coats to pick her up now.

“We are ready to begin,” Kat said with her hands folded in prayer. “If the spirit will please sit in the center of the circle we can begin.” Niall nervously walked into the crystal circle. “You will need to take off your shirt.”

“I do?” Niall asked as he sat. Kat nodded so he obediently shucked off his shirt. Good Lord Almighty was he perfect shirtless!  I was starting to really lie having these dime store oracles here.

“I’m going to take these essential oils and rub them into your torso,” Rae said stepping forward. “They help open your inner chi.” Niall stood as he was directed so she could begin slathering him in the oil. This was starting to feel like some Playgirl photoshoot. Once she finished coating Niall in oil she stepped back so Kat could start taking pictures with her camera.

“We use the pictures to make sure his soul hasn’t escaped from the temporary body,” Kat explained. Jane and Jordan just nodded as they ogled Niall’s naked, oiled chest. Something was not right here.  Kat and Rae started going through the photos on the camera giggling like little girls.

“Can you take off your pants as well?” Rae asked.

“It will help balance you chi,” Kat added.

“Okay, stop right there you perverts!” I shouted grabbing the camera and deleting the photos they had just taken. I tossed Niall his shirt. “Put your top back on Nialler. If you two aren’t here to help then you can both leave. Now.”

“You can’t blame us for ogling a bit,” Rae pouted as Niall put his shirt back on. It took another sixteen minutes of threats to get them to start the actual ritual. That’s how I ended up sitting on a floor holding hands and chanting to open my inner spirit.

“Are we done with the chanting yet?” I whined. “Just fix him.”

“We’re trying to do that,” Kat snapped. “But we have to feel the honest energy of your soul as well since he appeared in your room.”

“My soul would like you to get on with this crap.”

“Anger can cloud your soul,” Rae warned me as Niall chuckled.

“I think her soul is always angry,” Niall snickered. I smacked him again. “OW! Stop doing that!”

“He has a point,” Jordan giggled.

“Why don’t you hit her too?” Niall pouted. “She just agreed with me.”

“She pays half the rent,” I snapped back. “Cough up some dough, and I’ll rethink it.”

“Please, I could buy and sell you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Both of you shut up!” Jane shouted silencing us both. “Now please continue Kat and Rae. We need Niall to be able to leave the house.”