Well, I May Have Faked It

Chapter 17

Ryan's POV
Apparently Brendon's drunken declaration of love for him had solely been the alcohol talking. Just now Ryan had seen Brendon and Dallon happily holding hands.

Ryan had promised himself that the next chance he got he would question Brendon about what he had said at the party. Now that his opportunity had risen, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He had thought that his circumstances would be different. Not around Dallon and not out in a very public place.

For some reason, Ryan had thought that Brendon might not actually like being with Dallon anymore. But of course he had been proven wrong.

Ryan quickened his pace and was at the checkout lane in a few moments. He was only there for some pain killers, milk and cereal. Once in his car, Ryan's phone went off. He checked the caller id to find out it was just who he expected, Sarah.

Sarah seemed to call him all the time and always wanted to spend time with him. Ryan understood this was what couples probably did but it was starting to bug him.

"Hello?"

Pause.

"I just bought a box. Do you want me to come over and give you some?"

Pause.

"Okay. I'll see you then. Bye."

• • •

The trip to Sarah's had been all too familiar. Ryan had come over a thousand times. He knocked on the door and waited. Normally she would get the door almost immediately but this time was different. The door didn't open for about  half a minute and when it did, Sarah looked awful compared to her usually chirpy self. Ryan assumed this behavior came from the hangover she had gained from last night's party. Practically everyone had gotten one since they had all engulfed large amounts of alcohol.

Ryan stepped inside Sarah's house and acted as if it were his own. Literally, this girl insisted he come almost everyday so the place practically felt like his own second house. She better not start talking about marriage or anything serious like that because Ryan honestly wasn't interested. He wasn't interested in this relationship either and didn't know why he was still leading her on. Oh yeah. It was because this was Ryan's why of coping with Brendon's absence. All of Ryan's pretending was starting to lose effect though. The reality of Brendon being with Dallon was sinking in and making it almost impossible to pretend it was false.

Sarah took Ryan's plastic shopping bag and opened the box of alka seltzer. She pulled out a few of the pills and filled two glasses with water. Ryan took half the pills she had pulled out and one of the glasses, eager to be rid of his headache.

• • •

The beginning of the week rolled around and along with Monday came school. It seemed that Brendon was all over campus these days, flaunting his boyfriend around. It may have just been Ryan who noticed and Brendon might not be flaunting more than walking with Dallon.

Why was it so hard for him to accept that Brendon was happy and move on? Why did all of this torture him so much? At least Pete and Jon were still there for him. However, Pete wasn't always around. Sometimes he was off with his new boyfriend, Patrick. Luckily today's lunch wasn't one of those times.

"Dude. Are you still with Sarah?" Jon got straight to the point.

"Wait," Pete started. "Didn't you say you weren't interested in her? What's the deal with that?"

Ryan sighed before answering the questions he had already thought himself.

"Yeah. We're still together. She's too clingy for my taste but I can't just dump her and hurt her feelings."

"Isn't it worse if you dump her later," Jon asked.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried to figure and straighten things out but it just isn't working for me. Maybe you guys can help me? I don't know," Ryan confessed. "Do you want to know the truth?"

"Yeah," Pete eagerly answered. "Spill it."

Ryan bit down on his lip. Was this really a good idea? Maybe he should just lie. But it was too late to say something else because the words were already starting to tumble out of his mouth.

"I like Brendon."

"What did you say? You're mumbling isn't very clear," Jon stated.

"I- I'm still hung up on Brendon."

"Didn't you guys have a mutual break up?" Pete barely asked his question before yet another bite of his pizza was shoved into his mouth.

"Yeah but I still have feelings for him I guess."

And it's hard to get over those feelings and pretend they never happened. Especially if you see him everyday. Ryan sighed. Maybe his warm bowl of soup would help cheer him up. Just maybe.