The Beast of Yeller Wood

Chapter Sixteen

Note that there is intimacy but I didn't describe it because I am not into writing that sort of thing and it would take away from the emotion that I was focusing on. It kept it pretty darn clean if I say so myself. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

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                I wake deep into the night with the ice still consuming me like a blanket of death. There is little I can see since the candle has blown out. I sit in a dark room trying to get rid of this blasted cold that’s consuming me with each breath and heartbeat. It’s as if I have awoken from a deep winter’s slumber and there are no covers or a fire. If the room was as cold as I felt there should have been ice frosting every surface like a kiss of ice, and each breath should have hung like a steamy cloud in the air. I am not even dressed down into my nightgown I still remain in my daytime wear.

                And then the most beautiful wave of warmth drove through me. It felt like pure sunshine to my core, as if there was no care in the world. It was a blissful antidote. My cheeks warmed, my toes no longer were numb, and the goose bumps smoothed. I threw off the blankets I felt that delightfully warm. That cold was a distant memory when I was basking in this invisible sun that shined on my bleak existence. The bitter evaporated into joy, I felt John. My heart pauses, how I can feel the true essence of kissing him when he was dead and apparently buried hundreds of miles away from the castle. This felt like every kiss, touch, and radiant vision’s pureness and essentialism. It is the most simple and yet complex gift bestowed to a lover. It was so personal and so intimate; there isn’t anything in the world that I wouldn’t do just to get another moment even remotely similar to that. It lasted so short, once it was there it was gone just like John. It was like John was my sunshine and he gave me one last kiss two years on. I wondered if watched me all this time, through all this torture, pain, and suffering just to give me that one flawless moment of heaven to let both of us move on. I am left alone in this big bed at least not with the despair and ice that previously consumed my body. I felt human for the first time in a long time. I felt like a human.

                I drifted off with more peace in my soul than I had in my entire being my whole life; I have a terrible tendency to be conflicted. But I was able to drift into slumber forgetting my life here. But I slept only for a matter of minutes before feeling the mattress sink down a little and the feeling of a body crawl into bed. I froze stiff as I board.

                Heath wouldn’t be in this bed, he never slept in the same bed with me. He did his business and then left, he wouldn’t come here to sleep. Besides, he wasn’t expected for another week. My eyes shot open, I could only see the dark figure pulling into bed methodically removing his shoes and rubbing the back of his tired neck. The size was right for it to be Heath, but this was so out of character for him. Part of me wanted just to ignore this and pretend to still be asleep. But that part was overruled by my curiosity.

                “Heath?” I murmured my voice still dripping heavy in sleep,

                The dark figure turns around dropping the shoe on the ground heavily. I can almost tell he is smiling.

                “My dear Belinda.” He cried softly,

                This most definitely was not my husband. The man reached out to cup my cheek, and the moment our skin met I knew I was John. The shock that threw my body and soul off kilter, this was John. My John. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind, this was him. He was supposed to be dead and buried off by the coast. Clearly his warm hand and soft voice were proving the contrary. I smiled, tears formed in my eyes. The only person in this world I wanted to see was here in my bed after so many months and years apart.

                “John?” My voice was soft like the breeze on a midsummer morn,

                He nods slowly, “It is me, it’s John.”

                “But how? Everyone said you were dead.” I pulled into closer to him,

                I drank in his heady scent, just like I remembered. He smelled like sunshine, cedar, and musk.

                “Well they thought I was dead, there wasn’t anyone of neither Heath’s party nor him to confirm. The news traveled to him from his supposedly faithful duke, but in all honesty was easily paid enough gold to say whatever I asked him.” He stroked my hair,

                I pulled back a little which seemed to alarm him, “Then why haven’t you come sooner? I thought you were dead, I am married to that monster you call your brother. I am married.” I held up my ring as if he could see it clearly,

                “I know that is something I have to live with every single day.” His voice was stabbed,

                “I’m sorry I brought it up.” I whispered in his ear,

                “It’s okay, things will get better soon I promise.” He wrapped his arms around me,

                I felt so small and fragile cocooned in his arms and I liked it. He made me feel like a woman not a girl and not an object most of all. This was my soul mate, he was mine, and I got to be his. I smashed my lips against his with desire and passion. He was more gentle and soft, but I didn’t want that. I wanted rough, I wanted everything from him. I loved him so much; we were like the sun and the moon. The sat on other sides of the earth, desiring to be together so badly but couldn’t from the laws of God and the universe. But on occasion they could become one, we could become one, and we were that eclipse of the sun and moon.

                I wanted to be one with him.

                My shaky fingers fumbled helplessly with the buttons on his shirt, he paused our kiss abruptly.

                “Belinda, you do not need to do this for my affection I’m not Heath.”

                “I know you are not Heath, you have a heart beating in your chest.” My heart rested on his thundering heart, “I want you more than anyone could want anything in this world. Can you give that to me?”

                Our lips met again to my sudden relief, I could feel him smile and I smiled too. His fingers slipped through the buttons of his shirt and it was soon thrown to the floor nonchalantly. My fingers hungrily ran against his smooth chest. Without realizing it, the many layers of dress and petticoats were removed expertly. I was left in my undergarments with no shame. Soon every single piece of clothing was gone, and there was finally that sensation of skin on skin that I yearned for so achingly bad.

                We made love and it was beautiful. There wasn’t any fear or hate; there was only the love between us. And when I had been with Heath I felt doors slam shut. When John and I became one, there were so many beautiful windows and there was light. I loved him so much and he loved me equally. In love, there must be equals or the love will perish. We made love and our love built a temple and we were finally one.

                I felt asleep against his chest with the satisfaction only he could possibly fulfill.