(ON HOLD, READ BIO) Lonely Hearts Club (Shoey Fanfic)

Talk to him, Shane.

(A.N.) Health problems suck, that's all I'm gonna say. Here's the next chapter. ~Catherine

(SHANE)

*one week later*

        Joey smiled at me with his perfect grin. It probably lit up the whole room, but all I focused on was him. He was everything I wanted, everything I desired. I walked over and sat next to him. He took my hand, and we both smiled at each other, like nothing could ever go wrong. But of course, something did.

        I heard laughing all around us, and people pointed at us, mocking us. There were some familiar faces, and some that weren't. I looked over at Joey, but by then he yanked his hand out of mine. "Don't touch me, you fag!" He yelled, staring at me angrily. I saw his eyes, though. His eyes were screaming for me to not let him go. I reached out towards him, trying to grab his hand. Before I could, he slowly faded away and blended in with all of the other people, mocking me alone, even louder than before. I collapsed to the ground, clasping my hands over my ears. "Stop, stop, STOP!"

                                                                            ~ ♡ ~

     "Shane! Shane, are you okay, sweetie?!" I opened my eyes to see my mom perched over me, a frantic look on her face. I sighed, it was just a nightmare. "Everything's fine, mom; Just a bad dream." She walked away, mumbling "Shane Lee, you'll be the death of me" under her breath. Okay, mom.

        I stood up, walking around mindlessly through the house. I've been in and out of the house all week, not sure what to really do with myself. I made a few short vlogs, but even then, I still was too drained to really do anything. I still had so much on my mind... Am I doing the right thing? Do I really like Joey like this, or am I just hyped up on the whole Shoey ship with fans? Did I give up the best relationship I've ever had.. for a good reason? Before I knew it, I was in the bathroom. My eyes wandered over the little oscar figurine. My grandma held it in a picture that we had in a collage downstairs. I gave a slight smile, thinking about her. God, I miss her. Walking back out into the living room, I picked up the collage and brought it with me to the couch. "Do you know what I should do, grandma?" I heard footsteps behind me, and somebody ended up sitting next to me. "Grandma might be a little busy right now, but is there anything I could help with?" I looked over at my mom, letting out a small sigh. She readjusted herself to face me. Calmly, she asked, "What's on your mind, Shane?"

       I thumbed at the frame, looking down at my lap as I talked. "Am I doing the right thing here? Y'know, going for Joey and potentially risking everything for this?" She gave out a small laugh, immediately taking it back.  She smirked as she talked, "you sure make this sound dramatic, like your life would end without love. I can assure you, it seems great having somebody to love and to hold and to support you.." her voice trailed off and I looked up at her. She was looking straight ahead, silent and lost. She cleared her throat and looked at me with a smile, "but you eventually can find other things to love and to make you happy. Like I have you boys, and you have me, along with your millions of other fans!" 

        Her words gave me an instant pang of guilt. Here I am, acting like a complete imbecile, thinking my life won't be right without "love." I have love all around me. I don't need a partner, I mean, look at my mom! She raised up three kids on her own with limited income, and we turned out just fine, well, for the most part. I shouldn't be focusing so much on this, I should be focusing on my career, my future-

        "But that isn't to say that finding love isn't important. Its meant to be one of the main points in life; one of the things to make you the happiest and fulfill you like nothing else can. Just because things didn't go so well with your dad and I," her voice cracked there, "that doesn't mean you can't find a good relationship, okay?" She started to stutter and her voice got a bit lower as she became worried. "This probably isn't coming out right, I'm not the best at this, I-" I gave a reassuring laugh, "I get it, mom. Thanks." She nodded and stood up, trailing her finger over the picture as she strided away. Over her shoulder as she walked, she sing-songingly stated "If it helps, she always liked Joey. Talk to him, Shane."

        Grabbing my phone and getting up, I planned to do just that.