Sex, Music, and... Assassin's??? (The Lucietto Trilogy: Book One)

The Monologue

Fate. What of it? Some people think you can't escape it. That your entire life was predetermined before you even existed. Others, they think you can change your fate, but it's still a big force in your life. Another group of people don't think Fate is real. They think it's some fucked up superstition the universe made up to scare the shit out of people. Then there's the select few people that just don't give a fuck. They could care less about what the future holds, or if they can change it. I used to be one of those select people. But Fate's shitty cousin, Karma, a lot of people tend to care about her. But what I've come to learn is this; Karma is a bitch. You do not fuck with Karma, cause she will fuck you right back. Even if your one of those goody-two shoes pussy's that try your best to have good Karma. She will fuck you up and not give a shit if she's left you for dead.

Now, I understand that you've come here for a good story. One about some band making it big in Hollywood, looking for fame, fortune, sex, and all that shit. Well i can't fucking give you one of the stories. I'm sorry folks, but you have to understand, I'm not the media's streamline little fucking bitch. I say what i want, and if you don't like that, well then fucking deal with it or get your prissy ass away from this story. Go read a story about fucking unicorns and rainbows.

But what i can give you is a badass motherfucking story about a ladies-man teen singer that finds out he's a fucking assassin! If your here for that kind of a story, congratu-fucking-lations. You just proved to everyone that you aren't the mainstream's whore. Keep reading and you might learn a thing or two about being a badass motherfucker. But if your a fat bastard, sorry, your not gonna be able to be a badass motherfucker. There is a weight restriction for that job.

So I bet you think I'm speaking in the third person about myself, don't you. Well fuck yeah I'm speaking in the third person. Cause that's something that badasses do sometimes. That's rule number one, don't be afraid to speak in the third person. Rule two, don't be a fucking pussy. You know what? Fuck it, both of those are rule one.

I guess it's time to get down to the deets' of my story. My name is Lucietto Edimite Mostranimi. Before you ask, I was born in Venice, Italy. If you don't feel like saying Lucietto everytime you call me by name, then just call me Luke. Everyone else does. For some fucked up reason, my parents moved away from my beautiful Venezia, to Malibu, California. Malibu isn't as nice as people make it out to be. You can actually sit in your front yard and watch a house robbery like a movie. I loved my Venezia. When I was 10, my parents said they were taking me to Venice. They forgot to tell me it was Venice beach, which compared to Italian beachs, was a total shit hole. So my parents are Foreign Language professors at Pepperdine University, the college in Malibu, f.y.i.

Then I took guitar lessons, acoustic, which is something the ladies are really into. They love a dude who can play the acoustic guitar. I was unnatural at it, then i started writting my own music, lyrics and all. I preformed at Malibu High's talent show and met Johnny, who plays the bass, and Jesse who played drums, and he was a total boss at them. We started our band, The Bastard Underdogs. I think I should leave it at that for now.

Your probably wondering, "What the fuck was with that whole Fate and Karma monologue? It has no relation what so ever to what he's saying." Well I'm saying it now hoe. I learn that Karma and Fate, aren't just ideas, but actaul higher beings that move our lives along in a certain direction. When you stray off Fate's path, Karma runs at you with a fucking machete to get you back on. But you can fight Fate, I'll say that now. Fate also brings me to the third part of my story the assassin's.

I get how assassin's have no bitch's buisness being in a music story, but get this straight, assassin's are badass's. They make ninja's look like pussy's. And this is a badass story. But the actual reason is that.... wait that will give half my story away. Just read the fucking book if you want to know. If you don't read it for shits and giggles. If you don't even do that, well fine you slut. I didn't want you to read my fucking story anyways. Here you fucking go.

In order to understand a part in my story, you need to look up the YOUTUBE video, Agents of Secret Stuff. The first couple minutes will make it clearer. If anything in this has offended you in any way, i apologize. I watched Wanted again recently and the whole rude 2nd person inulting idea stuck with me and i wanted to try it. Please comment, i would love some feedback.