Zeal

Chapter Three~

Jimmy

I didn't look up, I didn't dare to. I stared at my tray of food as my heart sped. My lungs felt like they stopped working since I couldn't get a single breath in. I just sat there, motionless in a reality that felt like a dream.
"Did you become deaf since I've been gone, moron?" He said firmly. I slowly shook my head no and swallowed my food. I looked up and my guess was right, it's him. He still looked the same. His dark brown hair was still shaven on the sides but the top was a couple inches long. Combed forward then swept back only enough so his hair was inches away from his eyes. His scar was still visible over those aluminizing brown eyes that pierced into you while he spoke to you. He wore a gray sweatshirt that said "Happy Volts Memeber" with faded blue jeans. He was quite skinnier than the last time I saw him though. He looked like he hasnt even seen food for the time hes been locked up. Even though I haven't seen in months I could still pick him out of a crowd. " Well then can I sit down?" He chuckled. I smiled and gestured at the booth across from me. He sat down and took one of my burgers. He took a huge chunk out of it and moaned in pleasure. Jesus.

It seemed like he hasn't eaten in awhile from how quickly he ate that burger. I didn't mind that he took my food but I was speechless to the fact that I'm looking at Gary Smith. The only thing I could utter was something about my food.

"Are you going to pay me back or what?" I smirked at him while I took another bite out of mine. My stomach was in knots. I felt like I was going to hurl up anything I ate but I had to keep this act on. I can't let him know. I never felt like this when I was with any other person.
"Depends." He said as he let out a roaring burp and shuffled his hands together making all the salt and crumbs fall. "Was that good? I think that was a pretty high 10, my friend!" He chuckled. That's the smile I miss. That's the laugh that's been haunting me in my dreams.

I chuckled with him, shaking my head. I wiped my face from the lingering burger and sauces with a napkin. I grabbed my fork and started on my pie. His smile went down as he looked away from me and focused on his hands. He played with his sleeves then eventually hid his hands. He's nervous. " What's on your mind?" I called him out, giving a sympathetic look. I dropped my fork without a bite of the delicious pie lent back into the booth.
" You always knew how to read me like a book..." He said with a broken smile, not looking up from his hands.
"Well you aren't so hard to read. But why are you here?" I asked him. He slowly looked up at me. For the first time ever, I saw regret in his face. Then when I thought this day couldn't get any stranger, he said two words that I didn't think we're in his vocabulary.
" I'm sorry..." He said with a crack in his voice and that's when I saw it. The broken shell of a boy who doesn't know what life is in store for him anymore. I froze. Gary Smith out of all people said 'sorry'. I searched in him to look for any lies hiden in those eyes but I couldn't find a spec of it.
"Why are you sorry? It didn't seem like you minded when you did everything to me, Pete, and everyone at the school. So what exactly are you apologizing for?" I stared him down, keeping this harsh act on. As much as i didnt want to let him back into my life, i miss the memories we shared. I didn't want to loose him again but I had to know why on earth he'd apologize.

His face fell from a blank, meaningless look to a look of despair and regret.
"I couldn't sleep in that-that...place without thinking about everything. I-I couldn't stay sane in therapy knowing I was such a idiot that didn't take his meds. So Jimmy, I'm begging for your forgiveness. I was stupid and shouldn't have gone off my meds. I'll never make that mistake again. So please, will you allow me to be your friend again? I-I know it's really hard to forgive me but I'll make it up to you." He said with cranks between words. His face was glowing with shades of red and his eyes were glossing. He really meant it. Did he really miss me as much as I miss him?

As a tear fell from his cheek he looked back down to his hands as the tear splashed into the diner table. I was in shock. This day seems like a dream. However I never wanted to wake up. He only lived in my dreams so my reality was hell, now he's in my reality?
"I-I understand.." With that he wiped his nose with his sleeve then put on his hood without making any eye contact. "It was great seeing you Hopkins. Take care. " With that he got up and put his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. He kept his head down and kept walking. I'm not gonna loose him again.

I jumped out of my seat slamming money on the table for the food.
"Wait!" I yelled as I put my hand on his shoulder and spun him around. "Gary... I don't know if I forgive you but..." I sighed. I knew what I wanted to say but couldn't. ' but I can't let you walk out again, I think I need you.'
"But what?" He said looking me in the eyes with worry, glossed with hope, anticipating that I'll say yes.
"I want to... I want to forgive you so give me a reason to. Last chance you shit." His eyes lit up and I could see a twinkle in those brown eyes. I haven't seen joy in those eyes since that Halloween night we spent together. He flashed me that Hollywood smile of his and gave me a nod.
"Thanks James." He wiped his face with his sleeve once again and held out his hand; still not breaking that smile. God how I missed it. I shook his hand with my eyes locked in his. He pulled my arm and brought me into a hug. I froze up and stiffened. Once I realized what was happening I wrapped my arms around him and couldn't help but smile like an idiot. Maybe now I can actually be happy.