This was crazy. Moronic. Lunacy! I wasn't about to risk the sinking feeling of humiliation by meeting my high school love after two years. I couldn't bear stepping out into the unknown, knowing I'll end up being ripped apart.
I groaned as I looked at the time. 3:30. He told me those long two years ago that we'd meet at the same spot at 4 o clock. I had thirty minutes to get myself together, prepare myself for the pain that could very well come, and walk in there with any dignity I had. I lifted my hand and touched the pink burette, a smile finally coming to my lips after long moments of anxiety as I sat in the driver's seat of the car.
"I can do this... I can do this." I chanted to myself in a whisper as I took deep breaths. I could do this! If I saw him with a woman, a child, a whole life outside of me, I'd run away before he could even notice me. That was the plan. And if he never showed up? I swallowed, my lower lip quivering. Oh! Why was I crying? I angrily wiped away the tears about to slide down my cheeks before taking, yet again, another deep breath.
I knew why I was crying. It was obvious. The chances of Jim walking into that air port were very slim. The chances of him walking into that air port single? Even slimmer. I was lucky to have him in the first place, but life doesn't always give second chances.
3:34. Taking one last, deep inhale, I checked the mirror to make sure I looked alright. I smiled to myself as I got out of the car; thinking of my first date with Jim. Aren't those always the most memorable?
He was such a boy. I had only said yes to him so he'd leave me alone. I was in ninth grade and not interested in dating. I had grades to worry about, play practice and dress rehearsals, guitar lessons, taught piano, roller skating lessons every Saturday morning, and made sure to attend youth group every Sunday and Wednesday. I had no time for cute little dates with some boy that couldn't sit still for a good five minutes without laughing about something sexual.
Nonetheless, I had to get the boy off my back. He thought throwing paper air planes at me during History class or making fun of my A's in every test made him 'funny' but he wasn't. The boy was a jerk and I thought a simple movie date would be fine. Then, I'd be able to tell him to leave me alone and that I wasn't interested.
The night ended not as horrible as I had thought it would. We went to the movies, me in jeans and a blue top with a white ribbon holding my blonde hair. Him with jeans and... Some hoodie with his favorite video game logo. At the time, I was quite an uptight individual and looked down upon video games. Than again, I still am an uptight individual - he just helped me tone it down as time went on.
The movie went fine, and afterwards he asked me if I wanted to have some ice cream at Cold Stone, a ice cream place next to the movie theatre. I said sure, seeing as he hasn't ruined the night yet. As we found a table to eat our ice creams, I commented on his video game logo and that's how the debate started.
"I find them pointless and dangerous to your mental and emotional health. What good does it do you to shoot people in the head and see all those blood and guts? It's not edifying."
"It makes me happy!" Jim said with an exasperated sigh. "And you're the one who was telling me before about happy thoughts and all that mumbo jumbo..." He added. I rolled my eyes and sat back in my chair with my arms crossed.
"I was talking before about how exercise gives you positive endorphins that-"
Jim interrupted with a hand out before saying, "I know. You told me before when you said that sitting in front of the TV eating whatever you want makes you not work out-"
I sighed, pushing down his lifted hand, and with a lift of my eyebrow, I said,
"It doesn't 'make you not work out'. It decreases your motivation when you sit around doing nothing all day. It makes you lazy. Your body craves to move!"
