Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs(Modernized)

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***Snow White POV***

Once upon a time, in a grand castle, there lived me.  I was the most gorgeous girl ever, not to sound conceited or anything.  Ask anyone.  The mirror, the animals, even the seven men I slept with-- oh dear, I’m getting ahead of myself.  Anyways, I had, and still have, luscious black hair that’s cut in a short bob and large blue eyes.  My skin is always so delicate and pale, but don’t mistaken me for a vampire.  I’m deathly afraid of those wicked creatures.

You see, a while back, my mom died to who-knows-what reason, and I was forced to be raised with my uncaring father, who doesn’t even visit me, and this crazy woman I have the liberty to call my ‘step-mother’.  How is she crazy, you ask?

She talks to a mirror in her free time!

A mirror!  I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s probably cause she has no other friends to talk to.  But honestly, I would think she would find something more entertaining than a mirror.

The other day, I heard my step-mother (for I am not sure of her real name) talking to the mirror in the oddest fashion.  The following conversation ensued whilst I was hiding in the vent above her bathroom:

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most sexiest lady of them all?”  She flashed a brilliant smile at the mirror, striking different poses.  I groaned, rolling my eyes at her attempt.

The mirror stayed silent.

See what I mean?  Mirrors just don’t talk.

“Tell me,”  She demanded. “Who is the sexiest in the land?”  She asked again, her voice now increasing in level.

The mirror stayed silent.

Shaking my head in bemusement, I decided immediately that I needed to alert my dad to this behavior.  Then again, I’ve never met my dad once, so maybe starting out with ‘you have a crazy wife’ won’t be such a great idea.

To my surprise, instead of smashing the mirror, she got out her cellphone and dialed a person.  Who that person is, I have no idea.

“Hey,”  she smiled coyly, setting the phone on speaker.  “Whose the sexiest of them all?”  She asked again.  Jeez, did she have really low self-esteem or what?

“Uh…”  the person on the other end hesitated.  “Do I know--”

“JUST SAY ‘YOU’!”  she bellowed angrily, interrupting the person on the other end..

“You?”  the person questioned, sounding flustered.

“Thanks, hon,”  she smiled satisfactorily and hung up.

Shaking my head in amusement, I crawled back to my room.  I officially decided to go the next day, hoping to catch perhaps a recording and show my father whom I‘ve never met.  Now this went on for some time now, and I was really starting to get worried about her mental health.

Then, a couple months after the first time I’ve heard her, I, for once, decided not to go.   Instead, I decided to be the good little girl I am and do the laundry.  Don’t get me wrong, just cause we have maids and all, doesn’t mean I don’t like doing the laundry.  

Suddenly, my phone gave a loud ring.  Startled, I picked it up.  “Hello?”  I asked, wondering who it was.  The number was a private caller so I couldn’t see who it was.

“Hey,”  a very familiar voice said on the other end.  “Tell me, who is the sexiest of them all?”  My mouth dropped as I realized that my step-mom had called me.  

Deciding to play along with her joke, I stated confidently, “Why, Snow White is, Snow White is the most beautiful of them all.”  Smiling satisfactorily, I clicked off my cell phone and went back to doing the laundry, unaware to the great adventure that was going to happen.

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