If Marilyn Manson had 3 Days to live: The Conclusion Story

A knight like Odysseus

*******

I ran out of my yard and into the forest out back, the trees dwindled in numbers around the river and I could see the moon in the sky. Everything was a lighter color of itself despite the darkness, everything glowed in celestial light.

Now in full mourning, I wore my only knee-length black dress. It was V necked and had two pockets in the front, one on each thigh. I had a dark green sweater to keep warm, but that was it. My feet were bare against the wet, wild grass of the uncharted forest.

Unsurprisingly, the cold wasn't a bother to me. I was in worse condition before, and now the numbness of frost was like an old friend, it was familiar no matter what.

I'd never mourned before, so I wasn't sure of how to do it. I walked slowly, following the sound of a moving stream.

In my hand was the ring, it reflected the moonlight like a mirror, it was so shiny.

The river was to my right, civilization beyond the trees was to my left, invisible of course. I was alone.

Tears of fear came to me as I neared the water, I was unsure why I wanted to be here so badly. It was such a bad place for me to be.

The experience of nearly drowning last year gave me fear of water. I couldn't stand the smell of still water, couldn't stomach the taste or the feel on my skin, I shook with horror when I saw too much too near to me.  I've stopped drinking it nearly all together, and that has made me a weaker person physically.

The fear roused me back into life, realizing that I was still alive. Fear was sometimes good. So was mourning and letting go.

"Brian," I said to the water, commemorating him, "I don't have much strength left. I'm going to see you tomorrow on your funeral day, but that's all I can take.

"You never let me down. I never realized what it was like to love someone so much that you regretted not kissing them everyday, singing to them as they slept, wanting and hoping to cry together, share pain together, and be best friends until the end until I met you.

"Most of all, thank you for being who you are. I'd follow you to the grave, but it looks like I missed my chance. You were the darkest kind of light imaginable. Something that guided everyone differently, a light created by sadness, pain, and art. You're an inspiration to us all. I love you."

The water shishhhh'd in reply. The bank was below me, a short drop from the grassy cliff into the shallow water. It was definitely shallow, but it was so dark that it looked fathomless otherwise.

I sat down, my legs off the edge. I pondered the ring like it was a life, turning it over and seeing more than a ring. It was a definitely a life, but a life I had given up. I had thought that what I had done was good, looks like I was wrong.

Extending my arm, I flicked my wrist and watched it pitch downstream, the water carrying it away for good.

I lay back, sighing. What's done is done. Above me, the winking eyes of the stars roused as mine gently closed to sleep.

*** 

 Brian stared at the front door of Alice's home, his fist was raised in the air about to knock when he heard another door slam closed.

A dog barked in the quiet neighborhood, but besides that there was not a sound. He left the porch and investigated. He placed his hands on the side fence leading to a modest backyard. A garden with flowers was just below it. He was tall enough to see everything, but the darkness didn't permit much visualization.

There was a forest out back, from what he could tell by the moon's rim lighting the green tips. Then he realized that the door he heard was a back door. Screen. Someone was likely out in the forest.