letter five

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Dear Isobel,

                I’ve seen quite a few sides of you. It comes with being a lifelong best friend. I’ve seen you jokingly teasing others and when you’re at your most vulnerable. There’s something sacred about it though. I know these different parts of you. They don’t exist on their own; they’re parts of this package that’s wrapped up neatly and called ‘Isobel'’, and really, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

                I’m not saying that I know how you tick, because I would be lying. And I’m not allowed to lie to you. Because if I knew what made you work, I wouldn’t have to write you these letters. You would know, because I would be doing all the right things for you to be in love with me.               

                But as much as I love you – not in the best friends way – that’s what you are: my best friend. And for now, I have to think of you in that way. And that’s why when I saw you smiling today, that beautiful smile that literally lit up the whole room, I didn’t kill Caleb Harwood in two seconds flat. Because he made you that happy, Isobel, and if I can’t, well then. Better him than me. 

                I saw another side of you today. I’ve associated the parts of you to times and places in my own lifetime, but today was different. Today, that beautiful smile and that joy – it aligned itself with a little crack I heard inside myself.               

                (It may seem pretty bloody corny, but I’m positive it was my heart.)

Love,

Joe.

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