Geek in a War Zone

My First Day

I awoke with the sound of an alarm. It wasn't mine it was one of my bunkmates who had told me the night before he was to be in formation at 0700. Unlucky him, I didn't need to be there untill 1000 Hrs. Mike the guy my upper bunksman and I had discussed getting up around 0630 anyways to go check out the DFAC (Dining Facility something something). We signed in and stood in line to be greeted by the lovely cafeteria ladies asking what we would like. I chose the standard bacon and eggs from the hot line, but the choices were trmendous and even included a person making omelettes as you specified. I was impressed.

The cold bar included a choice of fresh fruits and cottage cheese, a favorite of mine, and on the other side of the dining hall was anywhere from a Cappuchino machine to canberry juice and chocolate milk. Well Mike and I ate a pretty hefty breakfast, handed over our trays to a large window with someone standing there who immediaytely sorted and started washing them. None of it was spectacular as it was all mass produced but I felt they had found a perfect balance of efficiency and deliciousness.

Since we didn't have to be in formation till 1000 Hrs we sat over by our building in one the designated smoking areas and I smoked and after breakfast cigarette. There were others and being an outgoing person that I am I of course started talking. Well let me tell you, if you ever have to go through this, sit around those smoking areas and the stories and knowledge you will amaze and inform.

Most were returning for second and third tours and had been everywhere from Quatar, Kuwait, Afghanistan and Iraq to non wartime bases in Europe and Japan. I don't want to fool you and say we were all civilians. There were three types of individuals. First and foremost there were the military, officers and enlisted. Second there were Department of Defence (DoD) employees. Lastly, and I felt some times like we were on the low end of the totem pole, the civilian contractors. Well there was a nice healthy mix in this group we sat with.

Mike and I sat there for at least an hour not saying much but sitting there like wide eyed kids listening to an elder telling an amazing fantasy story. One person would start a story and another would always have an addendum with their own experience, they were amazing some of the things that happened but I never heard anything that sounded too dangerous. Ya, there were a few stories of close calls and explosions so close that they could feel the compression of the blast wave, but nothing life threatening. I felt a little inspired.

Then they got on the subject of the TCNs, not sure what the acronym stood for yet but it was for Foreign nationals, which included from what I heard to be Indians, Ugandans, Kenyens, and more. One guy boiled it down to that they were their to do the "shit jobs" such as laundry, upkeep of the base and cleaning latrines and I'm sure many other functions. Well there hygiene is not the same as an American and whether through local custom they observed from their country and lack of caring they did not shower often or if at all and generally it was not pleasing to be around them.

The story that really stuck with me was the tales of rampant homosexuality among the locals and TCNs, I was literally shocked at what I heard and the phrase "Man love Thursdays" was very common among the group. Eric my bunk mate had told me of the "short little Indian dudes" who would happen to be cleaning the showers while they were showering and were none too hesitant about opening the shower curtains that were only waist high and with the biggest smiles on their face would take a gander at your manhood. He told me he carried a knife with him to the bathroom because he didn't appreciate it. He then told me of a story of actual rape cases perpetrated on American males by the TCNs. He said as I listened in amazement that story of three "short little Indian dudes" knocking unconcious one American and well you can guess what happened.

After listening to the me and Mike had alot to think about as we walked up to formation. We gathered with the rest of our fellow compatriots who were from the same contracting company and were led off to a nice air conditioned trailer where we were then briefed on what was too happen all week. Joe, the briefer, quickly and humourously walked us through all of the paperwork. You could tell he had done this quite a few times and he was efficient. He did start calling me the jokester and m,ade a few references because I was already starting to earn the reputation as the class clown. I mean it would rude for me to withhold humor or wit and cleverness from everyone right?

Afterwards we were released for chow and I enjoyed some pot roast with some mashed potatoes and gravy. Not bad. The salad bar was on my agenda as I was already starting to grow a guilt complex about the food I was eating. I had made a promise to myself that in this year deployment I would come back healthier than ever and I should start now.

Then according to our schedule we were to report to a huge domed tent with wooden structures separating areas inside. It was for our computer based training which included power point slides on sexual harassment to the Army's values. I sat with Mike and a military fellow who just told me flat out that he had seen these a hundred times... I took the hint and after looking around it appeared that it was really a contest of who could click the slides the fastest and then write the date next to the course on our training sheets and then have it signed off on. I'm almost fel bad for two older women who were actually reading every slide as I walked past them on the wait out. They were going to be there for a while.

Mike and I then milled around for a while going from one smoking area to the next listening to amazing and maybe not always factual stories but entertaining nonetheless. Some of the guys had beers like sitting around a campfire, I stayed for some time but the heat and dust were starting to bother me at 92 degrees and I just didn't want to sweat anymore. I headed inside to my bunk. I thought I was going to read but just sat there and thought of my family and the next year of my life. Also I couldn't help but think about "Man Love Thursdays".

Around 2000 Hrs Mike and I visited the gym for a brisk 40 minute workout that made me feel good and was helpful towards my guilt complex. The gym was nice and air conditioned and and there were rows of eliptical machines and Nautilus brand machines that worked every muscle group imagineable. I would definitely be visiting again.

Afterwards we sent texts to our wives and sat around just kind of staring off in the distance. I was definitely feeling grimy so it was shower time. Showering with a bunch of guys was starting to get easier but they really should post etiquette or rules on a board because I'm still not exactly sure on a procedure of where naked is appropriate or not or the most efficient way to get through it. I'm sure I would figure it out but with most minimal amount of observation a possible.

I was tired but sleep would not come easy again. As inevitable as death and taxes, it did eventually come.