Schizo || h.s

two

Idiot.

Waste of air.

Irrelevant, brainless, imbecile.

My head shook, trying to silence their dastardly tumult. It never worked, though; but I still did it anyway, in hopes to be greeted by silence.

The voices wouldn't stop their constant chatter last night, leaving me with less than an hour of sleep. This isn't the first time they've kept me awake, it happens practically every night, but they were especially cruel last night.

I have a feeling that it was because I had eaten a meal.

My stomach had been growling almost as loud as they were. The most I'd usually eat a day would be a few bites, and even that angered them. So when I'd eaten a full burger, they were furious.

Never once did their voices cease after that, not even for a second. They even tried to convince me to throw it back up.

I almost did.

I had been dry heaving over the toilet. The voices had convinced me that I didn't deserve something as precious as food. They made me feel unworthy to have even the most basic of human necessities.

But something in me had clicked. I still had the smallest bit of self-control left, allowing me to stand up on my feet, take deep breaths, and calm myself down.

They had been enraged by my decision to go against them. Never once had I disobeyed them before, as any self-control would slip out of my grasp any times the voices spoke.

What's the point?

You're pathetic.

Good-for-nothing moron.

My fists clenched at my sides, helplessly trying to focus on anything else but them. I sat on the floor, hugging my knees. If I were to stand any longer, my legs would buckle from underneath me.

I'd lost count of how many minutes, possibly hours, passed by, doing nothing but listening to the string of insults from the voices no one else could hear. My legs started to cramp from the uncomfortable position I'd maintained, but I had no intention of moving.

A soft knock sounded at the door. It startled me, causing me to jump slightly. It'd almost gone unheard over their voices, as they were on the verge of screaming at this point. I slowly stood up, hearing the bones in my back and ankles crack with each movement.

Do not answer that, Harry.

Pretend you didn't hear it.

"Harry? It's Eleanor," a familiar, soft voice said, muffled by the barrier between them.

My eyes widened, a small grin etching itself on my face. I took long strides towards the door, once again disobeying the nonexistent people living in my head.

The door flung open to reveal my beautiful girlfriend, a wide smile stretched across her face.

"Hey, Harry. I just wanted to hang out with you if that's alright," she told me, though I only heard half of what she'd said.

It was extremely difficult to focus on anything other than the voices when they're speaking, let alone hold a conversation with another being. I scratch the back of my neck, making out enough of her words to understand that she wanted to spend some time together.

"Are you alright, babe? You're awfully quiet," she inquired.

I pursed my lips, taking a moment to understand her words. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine," I lied, nodding my head and letting her into my disheveled dorm room.