Dzhokhar (Jahar) -- Before the Bombing

Dzhokhar (Jahar) -- Before the Bombing -- Part 8

I wondered whether perhaps he was thinking of dropping out of school.  I kept my eyes down, fixed on the table between us.  "If there's anything, anything I can do, will you call me?"

He didn't answer, but only squeezed my hands in reply.

Silently, he walked me inside to the elevator of my dorm. Just then my attention was drawn to one of the TV screens in the common area that was set to CNN, playing the surveillance video of the two men considered suspects in the marathon bombing. Until that moment, I hadn't even seen the photos released by the FBI.  Now for the first time, I saw the surveillance video.  We both watched.  Two men, one walking behind the other, carrying backpacks full of explosives.  Then the still photographs of the two standing in the middle of the crowd.

Suddenly everything made sense, ripping into my consciousness with an awful certainty.  As much as I didn't want it to be true, I clearly saw Dzhokhar and Tamerlan in those pictures.  How could Kathy have even joked about this? How much clearer could it be? Except of course, the most important thing....she has never seen Tamerlan in person.

I felt my whole world falling apart around me. At first I couldn't move at all. I felt as if I was going to be sick, I wanted to be dead. I turned to him, covering my eyes with my hands.

"Jenny---" Dzhokhar whispered.

I was shaking. He held my arms and guided me over to a corner where we could be alone. And swiftly gathered me into an embrace so strong and so intimate, nothing else in the world, even what I had just seen, seemed to matter. Rocking me gently, and whispering my name, "Jenny, Jenny, Jenny..."

After what seemed like an eternity, I tried to break away, just far enough to look up into his eyes.  "You can't stay here, you have to go, save yourself, save Tam! "  I buried my face in his shoulder.  "Dzhokhar, I don't know what to do!"

He lifted my face, cradled it in his hands. I tried to etch that moment into my memory.  "Whatever happens, just don't forget.  Okay, Jenny?"  He stroked my face, then lowered his hands and took a step back.   "Everything will be fine.   It's crazy now.  But everything will be okay."

He backed away a few more steps.   I could see he was trying bravely to smile.  

"I know you're right," I said to him,  "everything will be okay."  I tried desperately to appear strong.  "You have to take care of yourself for me, otherwise I can't--"  I couldn't go any further.

He raised his hand, almost as if he was waving goodbye, than quickly turned and walked away.