A Date to Always Remember

Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

I didn’t deserve Charles. That much I have always known, but at Jake’s confession, I felt it even more. Charles has been looking for Jake since the year started, and he finally found him. He was still drifting from one shore to another, so it was a long time before he could be contacted at one location.

Charles told him to come back for me. He couldn’t stand seeing me sad, and he knew that being with Jake would make me happy. He had just given Jake the basic information of how much I missed him, and allowed Jake to decide whether or not to reappear in my life. When Jake showed up at our house, Charles knew his answer, and without a single word being exchanged, told him that I was in town, so he came looking for me.  
 As Jake told me of their encounter, I sobbed deeply. I had already cried out my supply of tears; there was none left to accompany the heavy shakes of my body. This was nothing new. On many previous occasions, I’ve out-cried my tears. So the feeling was not a foreign. However it felt strange not to be soothed. Unlike Charles Jake did not try to comfort me. Whenever I was crying Charles would have always held and soothed me. I missed that comfort.

Looking at Jake, a small distance away from me, our sleeves almost touching, but not quite; I saw him looking at his feet.

His blue-blue eyes were looking concerned, but they didn’t comfort me. I couldn’t help but think how different he was from Charles.

Not only were they two completely different persons in looks, but also in personalities. I suddenly remembered how Jake used to laugh at me, constantly. At the time, I never thought much of it, I just enjoyed the sound. Though it was good natured and not mocking, he still laughed at me, more than he laughed with me.

Charles never laughed at me. He would always try to get me to laugh with him, or to cheer up, but he never once laughed at me. He was my rock. The person I turned to. I leaned on him to be my support. But who supported him?

I took advantage of all the times he was there for me, but when was I ever there for him? I raked my memories, and I couldn’t find a single time since we were married that I’ve ever been there for him. I listened to him when he talked, but he rarely asked me for help. And when he did, it was just in passing, and I never really knew how to help anyway.

I was beyond selfish in my treatment of my husband. And he never held it against me. He was more concerned about making me happy that he went out and found the one person who could. He would give up his love for me to have mine; the darling man!

And what did I do? I touched my lips gently with my fingertips. I kissed Jake, or he kissed me, whoever kissed whoever, we kissed each other.

At that thought, I began trembling more, my sobs rising to hysterical heights.

“Tory? You okay? You’re beginning to scare me,” Jake questioned with concern, though he still didn’t offer me a touch of comfort, I couldn’t help thinking.

I wanted Charles’ comfort. I wanted his embrace. I wanted him to tell me everything’s going to be alright. I wanted his soft soothing… His gentle kiss.

What was wrong with me? When I’m with Charles, I want Jake. I finally have Jake and now I want Charles. Is there anyone more confused than me?

“What am I to do?” I asked out loud, when I finally stopped shaking.

Though the question was meant to be rhetorical, Jake answered.

“You come with me,” he laughed at me, “We travel the world, together. I may not have as much money as Charles, but I can still afford you a life of comfort.”