Just a feeling (Published)

14. Round two

“Good morning, honeybunch!”

Napangiwi si Reena nang makita niya si Juan Miguel na nakaupo sa dining table sa loob ng family dining area. She felt like she had lost her appetite while looking at his sickening smile. Hindi talaga niya maintindihan kung anong ginagawa ng lalaking ito dito. Hindi niya maisip kung ano bang kailangan nito sa kanya.

Two months ago, he wanted to get rid of her baby, now, two months later, he suddenly wanted to be a part of her child’s life. How confusing was that?

“Kumain ka na.” Wika pa nito sa kanya. Hindi siya kumibo. Tinitigan niya lang ito. He was sitting beside her mother, mukhang tuwang-tuwa naman kay Juan Miguel ang kanyang ina. Napailing na lang siya. Hindi talaga siguro sila magkakasundo nito, ngayon pa lang ay ipinakikita na na nito sa kanya kung kanino ito kumakampi. Hindi niya alam kung anong sinabi ni Juan Miguel o kung anong nakita dito ng kanyang ina at ganoon na lang ang suporta nito sa lalaki, hindi talaga niya alam.

“Wala akong gana.” Sabi niya at saka sinabayan ng pagtalikod. She took a deep breath as she walks away. Naramdaman na naman niya iyong pakiramdam na paran gusto na naman niyang umiyak. Maybe her little penguin was playing with her hormones again. She touched her belly, she had never felt so alone. Her own mother disgusts her, her father never really looked at her and now Juan Miguel was on her turf and it just ruins everything in her life.

“Where to?” Andres asked her the moment she got in her car. She took a deep breath.

“Do you hate me, Andres?” Hindi siya makapaniwala na tinatanong niya si Andres. Andres had been with her family since he was a child. Halos kasi edad niya ito. Andres looked at her.

“Why are you upset, Señorita? Is there something wrong?” Tila nag-aalalang tanong nito. Her tears just started falling. The next moment she was sobbing like a five year old kid who just lost her lollipop.

“My mother hates me!” Biglang sabi niya. “My father is always unavailable and now that man inside my house makes it impossible for me to live my life here in a normal mode! I hate everyone.” Humihikbing sigaw niya. Hindi niya makita kung anong reaksyon ni Andres, she just heard the door opened, maya-maya ay sumara na ito. Lalo siyang napaiyak, pati si Andres, ayaw makinig sa sentimiento niya. She kept on crying, hindi niya alam kung dahil ba iyon sa katotohanan na narito si Juan Miguel at nagugulo ang buhay niya o dahil pinaglalaruan na naman ng little penguin niya ang hormones niya.

Hilam sa luha ang kanyang mga mata nang maulinigan niya ang pagbukas ng pintuan sa kanyang kaliwa. She looked up and saw Juan Miguel’s worried face. Tumabi ito sa kanya. He acted as if he was going to hug her, pero hindi naman nito tinuloy iyon. He just sat beside her while she cry, nakatingin lamang ito sa kanya.

“Uma-ma-lis ka di-to!” Pagtataboy niya kay Juan Miguel. Natigilan siya ng bigla na lang siya nitong hatakin palapit sa dito, the next thing she knew her head was on his chest, hinahapolos nito ang ulo niya.

“I’m sorry, Reena. Alam kong nasaktan kita, please give me a second chance.” Bulong nito. Lalong lumakas ang pag-iyak niya. Here was the man who hurt her two months ago by simply saying that he wanted to get rid of her child and he was actually asking for her forgiveness. Hindi niya alam kung patatawarin niya ba ito o kung pahihirapan niya ito. She just couldn’t let him have it the easy way.

“Ang kapal ng mukha mong humingi ng tawad sa akin!” Tinulak niya ito. Hindi lang iyon, sa inis niya ay sinampal niya ito sa mukha, dalawang beses, tatlong beses hanggang sa mapagod siya.

“Did you know how I felt when you told me that I couldn’t get pregnant?” Umiiyak pa ring tanong niya.

“I wasn’t ready back then, I was scared. Duwag ako, Reena. I never imagined my life with a wife and a bunch of kids. Iyon ang totoo. Pero nandito na tayo, I regret that day when I told you I wanted to get rid of our child. I was a fool. Pero susubukan ko naman. Nandyan na iyan eh.”