please dont read this

please no

this was good until the app crashed and the ending got deleted so heres the worse version
Troye's voice echoed throughout the small apartment.
He was one of the few people who made me happy. Unfortunately, he wasn't there with me. No, the car crash had happened years ago. Hundreds all over the world died with him. But my attempt at suicide didn't work. Mostly because Carmen was too caring seconds before. I failed it for her, but even she doesn't know that. Perhaps one day I'll tell her.
I wish I could listen to The 2014 Song by Troye, I really do. But it was what they played at many's funerals. I just couldn't hear it again without cutting myself or breaking down into tears to the point where I would barely be able to walk.
The only thing that's kept me alive is Carmen. Without her, I'd be long gone.
In the middle of Happy Little Pill, there's a faint buzz. I know it's not in the song. This isn't a remix, and I've been listening to it for nine years, at least once a day. Just like a pill. They're not doing construction outside....
No.
Oh God, no. It couldn't be. It wouldn't be.  But even Carmen was shaking her head at me. My feet carried me to the mirror. I looked more terrible than I normally did. Carmen was silent.
Sometimes she would tell me I was beautiful, but I always knew when she was lying.
The buzz came again, longer this time. It sounded louder, but Carmen and I knew it really wasn't. I walked to the door, Talk Me Down playing in the background.
I unlocked everything and opened it cautiously. There he was. I slapped him across the face, hard and fast.
"Wow. Um, hi Milly, nice to see you too." He smirked at me, rubbing the side of his face where he'd been slapped moments earlier.
"What the fuck do you want?" He held his hands up.
"Jesus, calm do-"
"Don't you fucking dare.... Are you actually asking me to calm down? Do you not remember what you did to me six years ago?"
"I do, but-"
"Awe, you look confused. Here, let me remind you; you raped me, Chris. I should've told the police but I knew you would tell them about Carmen. I still don't know how you know about her. Oh, wait. Did you rape her, too?"
"I have to tell you-"
"Say something already, I just want you out of here as soon as fucking possible!"
"I'd be out of here earlier if you just-"
"OH, EVERYTHING IS MY FUCKING FAULT. I'M SORRY CHRIS, DID I INTERRUPT YOU? MY BAD!"
"Can you just let me fucking talk already!" The hands that roamed my back six years ago were in fists at his sides, just like mine. I rolled my eyes.
"Go on then," I said, annoyed. I was nearly surprised by his sudden outburst, but I was more surprised when I woke up in his arms. I also didn't have the time to care. Life is too short to do with Chris.
"Okay look. Six years ago-"
You raped them, Carmen said. Chris didn't seem to notice.
"I was opening up a company-"
Was it selling people to rape? Carmen said. She always knew when to make me feel better.
"And I was all stressed out, so-"
"So you gave me wine, put drugs in it, and raped me."
"Well...." He nodded.
"Oh. Well. Wow, um, I don't even know what to say." My jaw dropped open.
"I'm a pretty nice guy," he said, totally proud of himself.
"Oh, yeah, you're so nice. You're totally the nicest person I know. You drug a completely innocent kid, RAPE THEM, and then show up without warning to apologise six years later? You're such a nice guy, which is why I'm so sorry I have to do this." My entire being dripping with revenge, I punched him hard in the face and kicked him in the groin. I watched Chris cry out in pain then fall to the ground. "So nice seeing you! I missed you so much!" I slammed the door, overcome with emotion. Carmen was nowhere to be found.
I leaned against the door and slowly let myself fall to the ground just as I realised The 2014 Song was on. My body racked with some of the hardest sobs I've ever produced to this day, I lay on the rug and let myself cry, blurred memories of Chris touching my body everywhere and sucking on my neck in an attempt to keep me in place making me scream. I was only fifteen.... I wish Carmen was there almost as much as I wish Troye was still here. The times I met him, he was so kind....
The 2014 Song continued to play, making me cry so hard I couldn't breathe. The pain of his car crash.... The pain of all my Internet friends dying off one by one....
I jumped as Carmen's arms wrapped around me. She was spooning me on the rug, making us feel like a proper couple.
I love you so much, I heard her say underneath my sobs.
I would've said I love you back if I could breathe.