A Hopeless Journal for A Helpless Man

Chapter 4: The Trail

Logic appeared to be nonexistent in my mind. Why would I follow some death insinuating trail when I'm clearly better off continuing being the stranded hopeless prisoner I was a couple of days ago? I have sufficient problems already. However, that's not the case. I'm continuously driven forward by this suspicious trail. This oddly ominous trail, which my mind has taken to align it and hope laterally. My mind is lost. For all I know I'm walking straight to my death. Then again, if I turn around, wouldn't it be the same? If I knew any better, I would run towards the quicker death. This pitiful waiting is what has been making my mental state worsen by the second. This feeling keeps overtaking me. The feeling of untimed certainties. It's maddening. I can't say I have accepted my death. After all, I followed the trail for a reason. This newly ignited hope, which is in the farthest crypts of my brain, is all that is driving me forward. Death is just something I've realized is inevitable. This doesn't, however, forbid or encumber my endless and painful process of death's occurrence. The waiting is what frightens me, and the certainty frightens me. Death frightens me. Why now? I barely know how I got here. How did this happen? Is this even happening? I don't know how much longer I can withstand these series of doubts and questions I call a living. Eventually, I won't incite for life, I'll incite for answers.  

I scoured through the trail and I kept on seeing the same crushed, walked-on grass. Throughout the grass I saw drops of blood. I didn't like where this was going. I could have turned around at any moment, but I kept urging myself forward. I wanted to turn back. I did at one point, but I began to wonder if I would ever find out how I got here or find a way off of this island. After this though, I wondered more. What if I kept following the trail and help had arrived on the shore or something of importance had happened? I grew skeptic of which way was the right way. Honestly, right now, I dont think there is a right way. Every path has a different development, but it's outcome was unquestionably firm.  

The trail was nearing its end in a brush of bamboo. I saw no more crushed grass, for the grass was too low. I saw no footsteps either. I did, however, spot a campfire. From what I could see, there were two men sitting down near the fire, talking, while another patrolled the area. The dense bamboo provided adequate cover. I don't know who these people are. Are they even supposed to be here? Are they the reason I'm here? Are they castaways too? Do they have solutions to my doubts? I don't know what to do. They are all dressed in rugged, used clothes. Simple t-shirt and jeans. The colors varied though. Both the one patrolling and one around the campfire had what seemed to be an assault rifle. To be specific, I think they were two AK-47. The last one had a pistol in a holster beside his waist and a machete, with which he continued sharpening a stick while staring endlessly into it. They began to speak in a sort of incorrectly spoken, amateur English. 

"You think we're safe here? You never doubt our work?" 

"Naaaahhh, we've never been spotted and no one has ever searched. We've got nothing to fear. It's easy money too." 

"You don't think we've had enough? Or they?" 

"(Chuckle) If we'd had enough, we'd be dead. He won't allow that." 

They both stopped talking after that. Well, they speak my tongue. That's good. It means I can't be too far off from any English influenced place. Or can I? I'm confused. I can't be certain of anything yet, even if I try. I'm still a stranger to this place, hopefully I'll always be. I don't want to stay here long. I'll leave by any means. The two strangers huddled closer and started chuckling. I wanted to hear their conversation. What if I find my answers? I checked the guy on patrol, he had his back turned. I started to ease myself forward. I took about two to three steps while carefully remaining hidden behind bamboo. I couldn't hear a thing. I took a few more steps. I suddenly felt something behind my head. 

"That's as far as you'll go." - a deep voice said right before I lost consciousness 

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"Land I'm here... Take me! Why won't you take me already!?!?" - I yelled as I stood in the middle of this cage, smiling. My body was idle and motionless. My mind ablaze, again. My body showed no hesitation whatsoever inside of this cage. The cage began sinking into the land with me. I stood there, with a sadistic smile on my face. The land kept consuming me. 

"Finally, I'm returning!" 

I woke up startled and sweaty. I'm in a cage somewhere with a cloth tied around my mouth. Not only that, but my hands are tied to one of the sturdy wooden bars on top of my head. There are guards outside my cage. They look similar to the ones I saw earlier. How long have I been out for? My head is killing me. This is not a headache reference, it feels literal to me. Although, let it be known that I do actually have a headache. I stared at a guard. He noticed me and said: 

"Ros... He's awake." 

I saw a man turned opposite of me with his hands behind his ass holding a knife. He began to speak. 

"So am I... Do you think I fucking care Brann!?!" 

His voice sounded insane. He spoke fast and sharp. His voice stroke fear into me. It couldn't withstand a sentence without being hoisted up by a hostile swear. Ros was his name. He has an easily triggered temper from what I see. 

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BRANN!!!" 

Brann left us and walked over to a house on the far right end of the area where we were, which seemed like some sort of encampment. Ros began to take out something from his pocket. 

"You have a nice fucking phone... Aaron." 

I tried to speak, but all that came out was a moan. Ros sprinted over to my cage and shook it violently. Then, in the process, managed to stick his knife across one of the wooden bars angrily. He looked at me confused. He clearly feels in control. He's toying with me. 

"What did you say? ...What did you fucking say?!?! You want to die?!?! STOP WITH THE SHIT!!! ...Or you die..." 

This wasn't going to end well.