Boy Meets Love [3] D/s BoyxBoy

Twenty

I found it immediately and curled my fingers around the cool piece of plastic.  It seemed like the only tangible thing in the room.  He was going to write on me?  What?  I was supposed to think... what he would write?  Or what I would write?  My eyes drifted to the ring around my cock and the lead snaking up my chest. 

I couldn't see my collar, obviously, but I could feel it.  It had been cool when he'd first put it on but it was warm now.  I tilted my head to get a better sense of where it was, then ran my free hand over it.  It was odd to have something around my neck that I'd once been so vehemently opposed to.  But it was just a strip of fabric, nothing more.  I wasn't suddenly someone else, the rules hadn't changed.  In fact it seemed less important than my cuffs because I couldn't see it.

I was the same me, but I was a more relaxed version.  I didn't know if it was the collar or simply Greg's behavior or getting a little time and space from my outburst but things didn't seem so bad now.  Maybe I was finally evening out.  I still felt a little raw though from my cry but he seemed to be trying so hard to figure things out and help me.  "I cried in the bathtub.  Is that helpful Sir?  I didn't know if I should tell you."

"Come here Pet."

I placed the marker in his outstretched hand and knelt, the plush carpet soft against my knees.  I had the urge to run my hand through it and try to smooth it down but I didn't.

"You should have called me."

"Sorry Sir."

"Next time you need me you will let me know."  He said it gently but I knew he meant it.

"Yes Sir."

"Very well.  Did you give any thought to the marker while you were staring at the kitchen floor?"

"I tried but I wasn't sure what you meant.  A word?"

"A word that describes you."

"Oh.  I... I don't know.  Right now Sir?  Or in general?  About this, us?"

"Yes, let's go with us.  It seems to be the elephant in the room, is it not?  You're leaving when?  How long will you be gone?"

Complete topic change.  What did that have to do with anything?  "Tuesday morning very early, nine days."

"Will you be naked for anyone other than me during the next few days?  I don't want to get you in trouble or cause you distress."

Oh, that was considerate of him.  "No, only you Sir."

"Very well.  Shall I choose the first one?"

"Sure."  I had no idea why he was going to write on me and I sure as hell didn't know what but he seemed to want to and since when didn't I let him do whatever he wanted? 

"Stand and turn."  I felt the marker against my back and he wrote five letters.  I was sure the first was a 'B' and I lost track of his motions but I could probably guess the rest.  "Next?"

"Confused."  Higher then, across my shoulder blades.  He wrote it much smaller than the other, either because it was long or because my opinion didn't matter as much. 

"Turn."  He scrawled three large letters diagonally from my left nipple down to my right hip bone.  'SUB' took up half of my chest.  "Next?"

"Scared... no.  I'm not scared Sir I'm... falling."

"Falling?  Very well."  It went vertically along my ribs before he moved to my left hip and drew a rather realistic image of a penis and then wrote 'slut'.  "Turn.  Next?"

"Lesser or unequal or something.  I don't know the right word."

"Lesser is much shorter than most of it's synonyms."  He wrote several words on me then, quickly, filling in most of what must have been left of my back.  "Come with me.  If I stand and pause with my back to you it is your sign to stand as well and fall in behind me.  Move to the left just enough to see around me."  He seemed satisfied with where I was and walked into the Den.  "Move in front of the mirror and tell me what each of the words I chose means to you, whether it's good or bad and if it's bad, why?"

"Did you get this lesson from Kevin?" I asked, partly mocking but also a little unsure how to take his sudden talkativeness and help.

"No, it was part of my therapy several years ago.  Sometimes we hate words that are true and those, Chris, we need to accept or make false through change."  He came up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders.  Go ahead."

"Sub.  I don't know if it's good or bad."

"We can come back to that one."

"Cockslut.  Definitely bad."

"Why?"

"I mean I'm not slut shaming it's just... I mean it's used in a derogatory way."

"Is there anything wrong with enjoying sex, wanting it?"

"No, of course not."

"I happen to love the fact that you're needy and willing.  The fact that you want me is a huge turn-on.  This" he said, tracing his thumb over the word "is a very good thing.  Now your back."  He held a mirror and I read the huge word he had first written.

"I thought it would say 'bitch'" I joked.  "Brave.  Brave is good."

"Continue."

"'Sexy' is good.  'Mine'... that's good.  'Fun'...can't argue with that.  I thought you would write bad words."

"I don't have any except 'stubborn' which I almost wrote but I think you're well aware of that one."

I cracked a smile, I couldn't help it.  "Not so much anymore" I answered, fingering my collar.

"Sub, Chris."

"Sub is... I guess it depends on the people and the circumstances."

"We are the people, this is the circumstance."  He was right behind me then, his breath against my ear.