Thg one shots

The past and the future (part 1)

Katniss's POV

I wake up at the crack of the dawn. I know why. Today it the day. The day I dread every year. I slowly slip out of Peeta's arms and climb out of bed quietly. I put on my cardigan and wrap my arms tightly around my body. I slide through the gap of the ajar door to exit our room. I know Peeta is easily waken so our creaking door would certainly wake him. I tip toe down the stairs. Once I get downstairs I slip on my boots that sit on the final step. Then I walk out the front door being careful to close it quietly. Then I make my way over to my house, my old house. I walk over with caution as the path is slippery after the cold night. I see my breath in the cold air ad snow covers parts of the ground though most is melted by the sun which has risen particularly early this morning. I take a deep breath and slowly walk up the steps as my boots make a crunching noise with snow beneath them. When I open the door handle the door makes a squeaking noise. I come here once a year so it isn't looked after. No one lives here anymore so why would it be? It no longer feels like home to me, it never did. The Seam was my home, now Peeta is where my true home is. But The Seam went from my home to rubble to the location of new shops. As I close the door behind me I take a moment to take it all in. I remember the first time I walked through that door. I had just returned from the games and we were being given the house. I remember how she smiled and stared at every piece of furniture we passed. I slowly walk up the stairs and into her room. I remember the shocked look she gave me when I told her it was for her. The house is extremely cold but I ignore the pain of the cold stinging at the tips of my fingers. I know this experience is much more painfully after all. I gather up the courage and make my way upstairs towards her room.

The whole room remains how she left it., her bed perfectly made and her clothes for the next day folded neatly at the end of the bed. I sit down of the edge of it and run my fingers across the linen with flowers sewn beautifully into it. I remember how when I said goodnight to her I could see her fingers tracing the flowers slowly. I trace my fingers the flowers as hers once did. I feel two tears fall down each of my cheeks. I quickly wipe them away. I close my eyes and imagine her above with everyone else lost on this day. I see her dancing among a field of flowers with Rue, sweet Rue. I see Finnick watching over Annie and his son with a grin. I see him pop a sugarcube in his mouth and smile even more with satisfaction.

I see my father, sitting on a rock watching over prim with a smile. A smile I haven't seen in so long yet recognise it immediately. I feel happy knowing he's in a better place but hurt that I can't be with him. I take a moment longer to take them all in to my mind, refresh my memory of them, to spend another second with them. But then I know it's time to leave them once more as I open my eyes and slowly return to reality and see Prim's room once more. 20 years. 20 years since I lived in fear of the reaping, survived the games and lead a rebellion. All of this may have happened a long time ago but is still fresh in my memory. How could it not be? It still effects my everyday life. Peeta still has flashbacks, I still have nightmares, People still thank me for all I have done to provide Panem with a good future, some people still stare as I walk through the district. I couldn't forget even if I could. That time of my life had its good times as well as bad. Its days like this I try to reflect over the good times. The times I spent with Gale in the woods, the times Prim spent with me, the times I had with Peeta before the quell, the times I had with my father, the times where I gave a real smile. I know that the bad days overweigh the good when it comes to those times but I know now things are better.

Everyone in Panem can now feel security and safety, no longer fear and hunger. I walk down the stairs and into the living room. I lean on the back of the couch while I look around the room. The room where I discovered I was going back to the arena, when I discovered I was going back to my nightmares. I gulp down a lump formed in my throat and walk into the kitchen. The rocking chair is pulled over next to the fireplace, that's where I spent my first few months back after the rebellion when I slowly tried to starve to death. That's when Peeta revive me from my depression, brought light back into my life and gave me a million reasons not to starve myself. Within the months after that I slowly came back to life, spending everyday with Peeta slowly realising Finnick was right. I did Love him. I then realised it was too strong to ignore. The boy with the bread had made me fall for him as he fell for me.

It wasn't long after that before we got together. 20 years later we're married and have a 1 year old girl that we love with all our hearts . I have no regrets. Peeta had all I needed in my life. He loved me for who I was inside. Not for girl on fire, leader of the rebellion. He loved me for me. I smile at the floor and say out loud

"I miss you Da, I love you so much"

I let one tear trickle down my cheek. I don't wipe it away. I stand in the same spot in silence taking a moment to feel my father's presence. I feel the tear dry into my skin and mark my cheek. I don't care though, because I know I can't act strong forever. I walk to the front door. Just as I place my hand on the knob I look back and look around once more. I feel my eyes fill with tears I shall not let fall. I whisper

"Goodbye again"

And with that I walk out and shut the door. I look down at my wrist and look at the time. 8:00 am. I know Peeta will not yet be awake. I take a deep breath and begin to walk away from my home knowing I will return again next year to speak to Dad. I feel that his presence is always there. I begin to walk in my slippers not towards Peeta's but Haymitch's.

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AUTHORS NOTE

Hey Guys! If this gets over 3 votes I'll do a part 2. I'm thinking of deleting this book....what do you think? Comment and please vote! Thanks for reading!

Em is out