Chasing Summer

End

Although the title of this is "End," it's not the ending of the fic itself. There are still 3 chapters to go after this one. :)

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Time is indefinite, with no beginning or ending. Even when the sun dies, and humans cease to exist, time will go on, unscathed. It has always been well beyond our reach. We, as humans, cannot manipulate or control it, but we already knew that, didn't we Eren? From the start, time has been against us, but we chose to be with each other in spite of that.

Even now, with our end inches away from consuming us, I will love you.

But one question will remain throughout my life: Will I always be waiting for you?

(x)

It took some coaxing, but Eren managed to convince Grisha to leave the house for an hour. There was something he wanted to tell me, and he didn't want to do it with his dad around.

Leading me into the back yard, Eren took my hand in his, interlacing our fingers. I'd offered to push him out here in his wheelchair, but he insisted on walking. Even after he discovered that, the second he was on his feet, his breathing picked up and escaped his lungs in quick puffs. Still, that wasn't enough to stop him. He was determined to do this on his own. He was proving a point, making one final statement to this disease that had devoured him. I held his hand close to my chest and watched him as he walked through the sliding door onto the back patio. There was something sad in his eyes when he realized that even this small act was becoming impossible to do.

When we were standing in the middle of the yard, he sagged down into the cool grass that was too green and lush to be real. I took a seat next to him, keeping his hand pressed over my heart. Both of us were quiet as we stared off into the distance. For a while, I watched his chest rise and fall with each heaving breath he took. Then, when that became too much, I stared down at our linked hands.

After he caught his breath, which took longer than it ever had before, he said, "Close your eyes and feel everything around you."

I closed my eyes and instantly heard the wind rustling the leaves of the maple tree just beyond the fence. With it came the subtle scent of blooming pansies. Everything smelt earthy and alive, which was amplified by the chirping of birds' overhead. But I couldn't forget the feel of his hand in mine. His fingers were thin and icy cold. It reminded me that so much of him had already been claimed by IPF, the thief that came and stole everything away while he slept. Why had he brought me out here? What did he have to say?

I kept my eyes closed and asked, "What did your dad tell you?"

Eren remained silent for several minutes, long enough for me to open my eyes. He had tipped his head back to gaze at the vast grey sky above us. His cheeks and nose were flushed red from the bitter wind that ruffled his hair. "I'm dying," he said without looking at me. "I've never said it out loud before, but I must've thought it over a thousand times." Now he looked at me, with eyes brimmed with tears. "I'm dying and I'm afraid."

I scrambled for words that would comfort him, but couldn't think of a single thing to say. It felt like I was shattering into tiny, microscopic pieces that I'd never be able to find again, because he was going to take them with him. So, in the end, it didn't matter how many times I attempted to put myself back together, I would never be complete.

"I always thought that I would be spared," he continued. "I foolishly believed that I would be saved from this somehow, but there is no saving me. IPF is cruel, and it will kill me without mercy." I winced, but he went on. "I want to be brave, but I don't know how to be that anymore. All I have left are the choices that have been given to me. Earlier, you asked what you could do to help me. You said you'd do anything. Did you mean that?"