Sink or Swim

Chapter one.

Song of the chapter: Moments - One Direction

☽ Reese's p.o.v ☾   

▪︎ 🄕lashback ▪︎

"I love our conversations," Layla laughed from across the room, "If we were a tv show, we would be a massive hit. Hands down,"

I nodded in agreement, "It would be funny," After that we sat in comfortable silence as we did our own things, thinking about whatever came to mind. I continued writing my letters, maintaining composure as best as I could.

"My phone died," she huffed, "What time is it?"

I pushed my home button, "Almost one am,"

"Why do I do this? I know I have important things to do tomorrow, that require a good nights sleep. And yet I keep myself awake anyway, why?"

"I have no idea," I chuckled.

"I'm going to sleep I guess, see you in the am," She said rolling off the couch before heading upstairs. I watched her until she disappeared behind the wall.

I finished the letter some twenty minutes later, then I myself headed up to my room. When I opened the door, every light was off except my night light in the far corner of my room. On my bed Zayn slept, all wrapped up. Which meant he was indeed hogging all the covers, so the usual. I let him keep the covers, and grabbed the spare blanket for myself. When I was in bed I cuddled closer to him as much as I could without waking him.

"I was wondering when you were coming to bed," Zayn said wrapping his arm around me, pulling me closer. He must've seen the guilty look on my face because he spoke up before I could apologize. "Don't worry you didn't wake me up, I was waiting for you,"

"Why didn't you just text me and ask me to come up here?" I asked smiling.

"Because I know you, and I know you're a night owl. If I had asked you to come in here two hours ago, you would have laid here awake while I slept. In fact its not even three am yet and you are ready for bed?"

"I love you." I stated, his lips curled up into a smile.

"I love you too," He kissed my forehead.

His hair was tousled due to the covers, his eyes were half opened, but they still shined. "I will always love you, no matter what ever happens, I always will." I said giving him a squeeze.

"Nothing is going to happen, you're my girl. One day we are going to get married, have kids, and spend the rest of our lives together." I'd nearly lost it, but with the darkness of the room you'd never be able to tell. It wasn't long after that when he fell asleep, I stayed there for as long as possible. Enjoying his presence, taking in every detail about him so I wouldn't be able to forget. With tears in my eyes, I carefully got out of bed. I turned the bathroom light on and left the door cracked up so if he did wake up he would think I were in there. I grabbed the letters off my desk, placed Zayn's where I had been laying. Placed a kiss on his cheek, then left the room. Liam was in Layla's room with her, so I couldn't risk going in there if he were awake. So I slipped her letter under the door, and downstairs on the table is where I left a letter for them all to read together. I looked at the living room one last time, took everything one last time before, slipping out the front door. I had my bags packed already in the trunk of my car. I didn't leave the driveway for some odd twenty minutes, wondering if I should actually go through with it. In the end though, I was. I can't have them suffer, I don't want them to see me when things get rough. So I pulled out of the driveway, and drove away into the night with tears in my eyes. ▪︎

It wasn't easy. It was in fact the hardest thing I've ever done. I practically vanished into thin air, without a trace. My parents and Ganny know where I am, of course they don't agree with what I've chosen, but I am over eighteen. I know Layla and they guys have asked them where I was, mom has told me in the weeks that have passed. I left them their departure letters, and I know that doesn't make it any better. But if I had left without a peep, that would've been unforgivable.

"Another lemonade please," I said to my waitress as she passed by.

"Sure thing," She smiled.

I was tired, insanely tired. At first it was I would just get a little drowsy, but now it's gotten to the point to where I'm basically sleep walking. I'm sick, and not your average headache, vomiting sick. More of a coughing up blood every couple hours, being dizzy whenever I stand, and the constant need of sleep. Everyday, is a day wasted. I have no energy to go out do anything, strangely enough I mustered the strength to go out and get lunch for once instead of eating in my apartment. I want more than anything to go back to them, to return to how normal things were. But I can't, to let them see me like this would make them sad, I would rather them remember me as I was. Healthy. What I'm doing is selfish, not giving them the option to be present with me while I go through this. I know how cold it is of me, but I don't want them to see me sick. For awhile I had treatments done, nothing ever changed. So I stopped, and relied on my faith. I would rather put my faith in Christ than have someone pump deadly toxins into my body, just hoping it might work. I will be healed.

"Hey," I answered my phone before it could even make it's first ring, it was Ganny calling.

"Reese?" Layla's voice poured into my speaker, you could tell she was anxious. I hit radio silence, debating on whether or not I should speak. "Reese, answer me. I know it's you,"

Ganny had deleted my number, just for this reason. She knew Layla would try to get her phone and call. "Layla, I told you not to call..."

"Are YOU crazy?! I'm NOT going to listen to YOU on THAT!" She was shouting, I let her because she needed it. "Reese how could you leave like that? How could you do that to us? To me?"

"I'm sorry Layla, and you won't understand but I had too, on some level I wanted to leave. All but one percent of me wanted to stay, that one percent had me leave. This is a bad idea, don't call this number because it will no longer be in service." I said with my eyes watering.

"Reese so help me if you hang up on me," She said in anger.

"I love you guys and I miss you all, don't tell them you contacted me. I wish you guys the best, I'll be in touch when I'm ready, when I think it's time." I said.

"Time? Time for what? Ree-" I ended the call, burying my head into my hands.

"How did she get your number?" I looked up meeting his eyes.

"She swiped Ganny's phone I assume, she must've not deleted our last call..." I sighed, hearing the pain in Layla's voice tore me apart.

"Hey hey, It's okay," He tried reassuring me, which helped a little.

"What do I do Sam?" I asked, but I knew whatever he said, I would stick with what I've chosen.

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Authors Note: Heyyyyyyyyy guys, long time no see am I right? So here we are, back again, with book number two. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for Sink or Swim? It will have you SOS'ing all over the place. So buckle your seatbelts kids, its going to be a bumpy ride with some occasional smooth parts. Thank you for reading chapter number one of SOS, if you think I'm being cryptic with Reese, then I have done my job. Hope the time gap wasn't to long. Now I'm out but before I go, you already know,

Stay Rad ~Bailey. x