Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

Chapter 5

Author's Note: New chapter! Let me know how you like it. It's not quite as long as I'd like it to be, but I promise I'll have the next chapter up soon. Happy reading!

*Alkaline Insanity*

                I woke with a start and found hot tears streaming down my face. Taking a shaky breath, I stared out into the desert that was bathed in the darkness of night. I fell asleep out here after my argument with Poison, and I guess the guys either didn’t notice or didn’t care enough to come find me. I stood carefully, brushing sand and dust off my pants. I quietly trudged up the front steps, trying to shake off the nasty nightmare I had. I had been forced to relive that night, once again, through my subconscious. I shuddered as I opened the door and walked inside.

                I softly closed the door behind me and walked to sit in a booth near the door. I didn’t feel like trying to sleep again, it would only bring back the nightmares. The nightmares that usually had me screaming. I guess I hadn’t screamed this time, because no one came out to my rescue. But then again, it seemed like everyone pretty much hated me now anyway, because of what happened to Ghoul…

                Ghoul. I suddenly remembered that he was here, and I hadn’t seen him since the guys slowly carried him inside when we got back. I scrambled up from the booth and raced for the back storage room, almost tripping over my own feet as I did.

                I peered around the doorway to see him sleeping soundly on a small mattress that was on top of one of the many tables we had lying around here.  I sighed with relief as I saw his chest rise and fall slowly. He was still breathing, which meant he WAS alive. I moved over to his bed and carefully sat in the chair next to it. He looked very peaceful as he slept and his handsome features didn’t show any trace of pain.

                He and I had always been close, ever since he found me out in the desert. I thought about the first time we met…

I had been walking around aimlessly in the Zones surrounding battery city for days without food and with just a small bottle of water that was slowly emptying as I drank it in small sips, trying to make it last as long as I could. The sun beat down on me constantly, and I felt quite dizzy with heatstroke. After hours of wandering, I found a rock with some shade under it and slumped to the ground, too weak to carry on any longer.

                “Just let me die here.” I said to no one in particular. I was alone out here. My eyes slipped close as I felt my mind grow hazy, and everything started to fade into darkness. I had no sense of time. It could have been just minutes or it could have been hours. But out of nowhere, I felt a gentle hand shaking me. My eyes slowly fluttered open, using all the strength I had.

                Before me was the most handsome man I had ever seen. He had chin-length dark hair and mesmerizing hazel eyes. “Are you okay?” the man asked me, clearly worried. I tried to nod yes, but couldn’t muster any more strength. ‘I’m not okay…’ I thought.

 “No…” was all could manage to whisper before I blacked out again.

I awoke several hours later in a strange building. There was a cool rag on my forehead and I was lying on a soft mattress. I gazed around to see that I was in an old restaurant littered with empty food cans and various piles of clothes. The handsome man walked into my view again, smiling broadly. He handed me a small canteen and I drank from it gratefully, relishing the feeling of cool water sliding down my throat.

“Fun Ghoul.” He said, introducing himself and holding out his hand. I shook it, admiring the tattoos that covered his hands and arms.

“I’m Alkaline Insanity.” I replied happily. God was he gorgeous. “And, thank you for saving me. I was sure I was going to die out there.”

“My pleasure.” He said, still grinning. “The rest of my group should be back soon, but until then, I’m all yours.”

                I blushed slightly when he said this, and his smile only grew wider.

                That had been the beginning of our great friendship. I smiled as I remembered that day. It was more than four years ago, and my small crush on him never did really go away. He didn’t seem to return the same type of feelings though, so I kept myself quiet about it, not willing to risk losing my best friend.

                I sat there for more than an hour, just watching him sleep peacefully and thinking about how glad I was that he seemed okay. My eyes started to droop a bit, and I realized that I did need more sleep, no matter how much I didn’t want it. I wasn’t ready to revisit my nightmare.

                Just as I was about to inevitably nod off, I heard a small whisper.

                “Aly?” the voice inquired softly. It was Ghoul. He was awake.

                “Ghoul!” I whispered-yelled, trying to contain myself. “You’re awake! How are you? Does it hurt? I’m so sorry.” I said it all in one breath, joy turning rapidly to sorrow. My guilt returned as I remembered he was like this because of me. “Ghoul, I am so sorry.” I murmured again, feeling the tears pricking at my eyes. “I never meant for this to happen. I just- I just wanted to come with you. I was sick of sitting at home and…and…and…” I started to sob again. “I’m so sorry.” I managed to choke out, my hands covering my face.

                “Hey, hey, don’t cry.” He said softly, trying to soothe me. He reached a hand out and patted my knee comfortingly. “This isn’t your fault.”

                “But…” I started, not sure what to say. He looked up at my with sincere eyes

                “It’s not your fault Aly. How could it be?” He said, still trying to reassure me. I only shook my head, not knowing how else to respond. He scooted over then, and patted the mattress next to him. Although unsure, I sat down, curling up against his good side. I rested my head on his chest and he stroked my head, still trying to calm me.

                “You can’t take the blame for this. Don’t listen to what Party said. He was just worried about me.” He whispered finally, moving his hand from my head and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

                My eyelids started to feel heavy again, and I began to drift off. I could’ve sworn that I felt Ghoul kiss the top of my head as sleep overtook me, but I was sure it was just my imagination playing out what I wished would happen.