MisPrints

•Chapter 8•

I stumbled along the corridors, blindly following Zak lost in my own thoughts. I had a lot to take in, this was so completely new to me. I was walking in a half daze and once Zak had to grab me and pull me back to stop me walking right in front of a guardian's illuminated path

"Pay attention can't you?!" He hissed into my ear as the machine floated by, it's scanners flashing.

"Sorry it's just-"

"Yeh, I know it's weird. Let's go now."

Being dissatisfied isn't as bad as it's made out to be. I don't feel any different? In a way I feel so much better. It's like I'm not pretending anymore and I don't have to be something I'm not.This is the real Ely. Who thinks what she wants and feels how she wants.

"It's amazing..." I whisper to Zak, "I don't have to monitor my thoughts anymore, I can just think freely?" Zak nods at me to show he's listening but carries on walking without replying. "Did you feel the same? How did you...how did you realise it?" I ask him. He doesnt reply straight away but then answers me quietly.

"I knew I wasn't happy from the beginning." He replied eventually, "But I kept telling myself that I wasn't disatisfied, and that I was normal like everyone else. But lying to myself all that time? It tired me out completely." He flicked his hair out his eyes. "I spent all day putting on an act, wearing a mask, being something that I wasn't. Mia had felt it to." He closed his eyes briefly and took a breath in.

"Wait... Mia? She was-"

"Yeh, of course she was. She hated it here, she obviously wasn't happy. She was the one who told me about it to begin with. At first I couldn't believe it. I almost felt ashamed... that my sister had, you know.....broken the rules in such a big way . She came to me that night, the one before she left. She told me that being myself wasn't wrong, unlike what they told us, and how she couldn't stand it anymore..." He shrugs. "But I was only 11, I didn't quite understand what she meant. To me she just sounded crazy. She just wasn't making sense."

"She tried to tell me too." I whispered. "About the... You know, wanting to get away..."

"She what? Wait... How did she.."

"When we were both out past shut down. We went out that night and she told me to go back to my canton. She used to take me and show me the..." Zak jerks around and stares at me.

"Show you what." He says.

"I....she showed me..."

I paused, unsure of what to say. Can I tell him? I wonder in my head. Does she want him to know? Does he know already? It's not breaking the promise is it? It's her brother surely he already knows...

"What is it?" Zak demands sternly, taking a step closer to me, "what did she show you?!"

"Zak stop, you're scaring me." I say taking a step backwards.

"Sorry, but... please just tell me." He says, lowering his voice a little. "Did she take you to the..."

"To the the window...?" He freezes and looks away. After a couple of seconds he still hasn't replied. "Zak?" I ask slowly, confused. "Zak what... what's the matter?" He still refuses to look at me.

"I can't believe she showed you." He says finally, looking at the floor.

"What?"

"She showed you. She never took me. I asked her to but she never..." He takes a slow breath in. "She never once took me."

"But why didn't she-" He shrugs.

"I don't know. She probably just didn't trust me, or didn't care enough." Then he looks up and steps closer to me again, looking down at me intently.