Merthur AU

Merthur AU chapter 18

My mind slowly progressed the news, but I couldn't focus. Nothing made sense. Arthur was sent to kill me? Why didn't he do it? Was it because he fell in love or because he just didn't want to kill any more people? How many people had he killed? Did meeting me make him stop? When was this anyway? So he did choose my particular library, it wasn't mere coincidence? He was actually looking for me? I wasn't just lucky?

I knew sounded crazy, but I felt kind of flattered, and I knew it wasn't even halfway right to think so, but I couldn't help feeling a bit special and appreciated.

"Merlin, I know I lied, but I swear it was to protect you, you're all I care about. I was given the task about three years ago, spent two months finding you, I was in Russia at the time, and then I saw you and I just couldn't. I never contacted the boss about your status or anything; he didn't know if I had found you, hell, I don't think he knew if I was alive, but I don't think he cared. Everything was going perfect, I had a lot of money, I had you, we were getting married for God's sake, and then I made the worst mistake of my life, and that says a lot. Please say something, anything."

Arthur was crying now, silent tears streaming down his red puffy cheeks. I tried to lift my hand to brush my thumb over his cheeks, tried to close in and hug him, telling him it was alright, but I couldn't move. And I wouldn't pretend I was okay with this, but I couldn't stand by and watch the man I love crying. I hated myself for not shouting at him, but I couldn't bring myself to it; it didn't seem fair. But it was him who'd kept me in the dark for so long, not telling me anything, this wasn't fair to me. Still, he'd done it because he loved me and wanted to protect me. And he regretted lying to me, so what could I do?

To me it seemed like I had two realistic options: 1. Yell and shout at someone who'd given their life to protect me and love me with his whole being, be mad at something he couldn't change, but still tried to, and never be happy with the man I love, or 2. Accept the fact that this man was someone who'd killed, but given it all up because of me, trust him and deal with the lying later when we weren't in mortal danger.

I made my decision. Reaching my hand forwards, I took his hand in mine and locked eyes with him. His eyes were full of tears and disbelief. And then I realized something: I loved him. Truly. More than ever, actually. All of my doubt suddenly went away somehow. It didn't matter how he got in this position, or what he'd done in his past. All that did matter was that we were together. I smiled at him with the warmest smile I could muster.

And before I knew tears were streaming down my face too, but they were not of sadness. He sniffled, and suddenly it felt like I was meeting him for the first time all over again. My heart started beating faster, and everything else seemed to go out of focus. Time was moving slow. We were now standing so close I could feel his breath on my lips, warm and wet. We didn't need words, our eyes said it all.

All I could think about was kissing him. And so I did. Almost automatically, I leaned in and my lips met his in the most passionate kiss I'd ever had. When I pull away, I rest my forehead on his, out noses touching lightly.

"Arthur, this isn't alright, I'm not going to pretend it is, but it doesn't matter, not now. What matters is that I love you, and you love me, and that I'm never ever going to leave you."

"You really mean it?"

"Were in this together, for better and for worse."

So, um, yeah. This story is about to come to an end soon, I suppose, maybe sooner than I think, perhaps only a few chapters away. Maybe this is the last chapter, I haven't decided yet, it's a quite good ending. It's been going on for a long time and I really hope you've enjoyed it. Please comment and vote, it really makes my day. Also if you want, you could let me know if you think I should write more or not.