Blue Smiles {ON HOLD}

Shh.

Last time in Blue Smiles:The new round of nurses and techs came through for the weekend this morning, which means less groups, and less restrictions. Which also means, more time with Harry.
I'm trying to cherish the time I have with him, because the doctors have decided that this Thursday, (6 days away) they want to bring me home, but with a probation officer and a care taker.
But for the 3 days that he's been here with me, he has been getting better. I can see it. And he's even feeling comfortable going around in short sleeved shirts, not hiding his scars and stitches.
Do I love this boy?
Or am I just being emotional.
I just met him for gods sake.
Lucky him to just meet you. Too bad he didn't meet you at all.
Stop it
You know Louis, you really need so start being less self centered and let Harry get better. Don't screw him up like everything else. He doesn't deserve someone like you.
I can't live with these voices.
They get worse when I'm not around Harry.
What will I do when I leave.
Say, 'yeah I'm going home but here's everything you need to contact me.'
No.
I'll look like a creep.
But I do like him.
But he doesn't like you.
I'll do it just incase when I leave.
Pht. Embarrassment. Just kill yourself already please.

Harrys POV:
The new rounds of nurses and techs were settling in for the morning and it was (kinda) back to a normal schedule. But they still checked on you every forty-five minuets. Which means less kisses and cuddling, or else it's new roommates and heavier restrictions.
Louis' been distant all morning. I tried to get him to even just get up and grab his tray at breakfast and he just broke down in tears and ran to our room.
Did I do something wrong ?
To not look suspicious, I sat for about ten more minuets at my table, and mowed down my toast and eggs.
I rushed down my morning check-in and quickly went to see Louis.
I walked into my room, completely horrified. There was blood all over the walls, carpet, and white sheets and bead spread. I run to Louis, who was sitting in the corner of the room, huddled on the ground with bloody bight marks all over his arms and legs.
I screamed at the top of my lungs for a nurse to come and help as Louis stared at me, with tired, bloodshot eyes. I took off my tee-shirt and wiped the blood off his face, arms, and legs bawling until multiple techs pulled me off of him.
I watched from a chair in the lobby, guarded by an officer as they signaled a code blue and rushed Louis downstairs in a stretcher to the ER to get him fixed up.
As soon as all the nurses and techs form the floor leave, the officer bends onto his knees to get to my eye level.
"You know, when I was a teenager thirty-ish years ago, I ended up in a place like this once too." He said at me with a sorrowful expression. "I watched people get carried out like that, and  feeling terrible because you think that you should've talked to them, or do whatever more to make them happy. And maybe they wouldn't have done it. But the truth is nobody can make someone else seriously, completely, happy on their own. Because that person needs to add some of that love in from themselves to be happy. I wish I would've known that when I was your age. Don't blame yourself, kid."
I nod and thank him for the advice, that I've heard a thousand times.
But I still hid in my room for the rest of the day, bundled in new blankets.
I'll start living again once Louis gets back.

A/N: WOWOWOWOW I HAVE LITERALLY NOT UPDATED IN FIVE MONTHS WTF. BUT ANYWAYS, I STILL FEEL SHITTY. IVE RELAPSED LIKE 937194792 TIMES BUT IT GIVES ME INSPIRATION FOR THIS BOOK SO I GUESS ITS NOT TOO BAD, MAN.
wow that was a terrible thing to say.
what am I.
oh jeez.
BUT ANYWAYS. IM A FRESHMAN NOW. AND ITS NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. I LOVE YOU GUYS AND ILL REALLY TRY TO UPDATE MORE OFTEN.!

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