I Should Like To Be

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Me

I should like to be…

A paint brush.

Forcing globs of color into underlying shapes and patterns,

Subduing them into each other,

Diluted into believing;

Melting into society’s mold.

Not what I strive to see.

Can I not stroke the page with an ornate spring or meadow?

Rather than the decadent, concentrated murky blacks that,

 I am told I should be…

I should like to be…

A piece of charcoal.

Jagged rock, stripped from its underground sanctuary-

Waiting to be blackened on to the page.

Awaiting the inevitable dark, dark as the nights

Yet,

Unrelenting with their stars.

Scratching against rough, pulpy paper;

We find right.

Twisting and changing

From darkness to light;

Not so much malevolence,

But meant to be quite, brilliant

As it forms a coherent thought,

You can feel all that is lost.

 But,

I don’t feel quite right.

As right as

I am told I should be…

I should like to be…

A block of clay.

Massaged in their specific shape,

Masked by deft hands

Leaving me to sort out my own

I am left to His mercy,

Blocked from the sun

As much as a man is kept incarcerated during times of war.

Cannot quite place how these hands;

These hands are not guilt-ridden,

Not hurting as

I am told I should be…

I should like to be…

A blank pad.

With the innocence of a fresh coat of snow,

I am eager for my master to attack.

Pushing forced thoughts into my subconscious,

Going along without question,

Waiting for something real.

I should not question,

As something blank should not,

For now I am obedient as

I am told I should be…

I should like to be…

The wind.

A whirling mist,

Carrying along desperate messages,

 They push into my head.

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