O.M.F.G I Think I'm Falling For My Enemy!

50. The Voices in My Head (OMFG 50th Anniversary!)

fast upload aint it? Well, there was a comment in the last chapter, where somebody said they fist punched when Remy didn't die in the tub, and that totes made my day! Lmaoo, i'm glad you think she's not suicidal! :D anywhoo, go check out the chapter.

anybody read the Fallen series by Lauren KAte? I ordered Passion and it was beautiful! if you havent read it, go read it!!! Rapture is coming out i think next year? I can't wait!!!!

I also read Linger by Maggie Stiefvater, i read Shiver a while ago, and i can't believe i didnt love this book when i did. My teacher suggested it. Well, this is an amazing book!!! i went on her website, and she has the best playlists for both books, and i absolutely CANT WAIT FOR FOREVER, THE LAST BOOK. If you read the Wolves of MErcy Falls series, check out the shiver microsite she made and check out the playlist. Each song is amazing! i put up one of them, and its really sad, so check it out!

CHEECK OUT HIDE AND SEEK BY IMOGEN HEAP! THE SONG ISHH AWESOME! AND JASON DERULO DID COPY IT!

50. The Voices in My Head

The first words that stuck out were: Positive. Terminal. Malignant. Then there were the phrases that said to come on a specific date for surgery, next clinical appointments and medication cancellation. I read it slowly, of course I expected this, I feared it all along, and this is what I was waiting for. That one tiny spark, the truth written in print. There was no denying it when it was written in fine print. I thought of Drew’s poetry, and my mind formed three lines.

These tiny letters/ when formed together/ bring unfaithful words to form a curse.

I turned the report over, there was a post-it note from Dr. Thompson. In scrawled handwriting, it said,

Your days are numbered, go make the best of them.

-Thompson

I broke into a heavy sob, so it was true. He was dying, and all it took for me to confirm my thoughts was a personal note from his doctor.

I cried for a long time.

These hours pass by/ In blurry hues of all types/ But the long lasting sorrow/ It stays the darkest of black.

Mom called, I didn’t pick up, I let it go straight to voicemail. Izabela then called, and I left her call hanging too. I felt childish, stupid, you can’t change the past Remy, he’s got cancer, and there’s nothing you can do about it!

Childish Remy: But why him? Out of all people, why did the guy I’m crazy in love with have to be infected?

Reasonable Remy: Oh Childish Remy, you have to understand! If it wasn’t him, it’d be somebody else! Drew wasn’t specifically targeted! You have to stop wailing over what you can’t change!

Childish Remy: He’s dying, and instead of letting me in, he threw me out!

Reasonable Remy: He doesn’t want you to get hurt, he knows you can spend as much of your time with him, but in the end, it’ll just make the pain of him leaving worse, and the scar deeper.

Childish Remy: Huh?

Reasonable Remy: He loves you Remy, he loves you so much he’d rather sacrifice his love for you than cause you the pain of when he leaves. He’d rather hurt you now and put up a horrible image of him in front of you, one of a beast, the Drew you knew before, the one you hated than have you fall deeper in love with him. Don’t you get it?

It made sense, why couldn’t I think this by myself?

Reasonable Remy: You did Remy, I’m also a part of you, just hidden by the childish Remy.