Spark to Flame: A Finniss Story

Pt III: Dirt to Roots

She sits in the waiting room just outside the hospital, impatient for news on Peeta and Gale and the others.

Finnick sits beside her, his right leg pressed against her left one as he busies himself with tying knot after knot on a spare length of rope. She taps the heels of her boots up and down on the hard floors, the sound reverberating off the walls at an increasingly fast rate as she grows more and more impatient.

She contemplates stopping her movements, thinking that her nervousness is messing him up, but he doesn't seem to mind in the least as he slings the rope over and under the loops he's made, going about his day like she couldn't possibly make it any worse, and she supposes that she really couldn't.

She wants to say something about his propo, but finds that words are lost on her. And judging from Finnick's tense and angry expression, now wouldn't be the time to bring it up anyway. He looks as though he's silently exploding, the heat of his anger contained only by the thick film of skin and muscle surrounding it. It goes right down to his very soul, it seems, and she wonders if it's because he's cross with her or himself. She selfishly decides on the latter.

So she doesn't think of something to say to Finnick. She thinks of Gale and Peeta and whether or not they're going to be okay. To think that they had died, that they had all been killed due to her own insolence and that she may never see them again, was unbearable.

Now that she'd had the time to pull herself back together for the time being, it was perfectly possible that they had survived, but she also knew that the harsh reality of their situation and the circumstances they were under gave that possibility little merit. Knowing Snow, he would have blasted them out of the sky and sent them hurtling to the ground in a ball of fire. She wouldn't put it past him.

Finnick hastens his knot-tying beside her and she's forced to once again look over at him and see whether or not he's okay. She makes the mistake of accidentally catching his gaze, however, and she's unwillingly locked in an eternal staring contest with the man next to her.

It's painful on an almost physical level as she stares at him, her eyes stinging as they burn into his. She wants to look away but she can't; he's making her feel everything that he is just by looking at her, and she can't help but try to absorb some of it, if only to take part of the burden off his shoulders. He seems to notice this, and he gets this look in his eye as if he's suddenly realized just how much of his inner thoughts he's giving away, and he quickly breaks his mental hold on her.

He turns his head away, blinking a few times and swallowing thickly as he tries to move on from what just happened, and goes back to tying the rope in his hands.

She's about to ask him what's wrong, but Haymitch suddenly appears in the doorway of the hospital, and their heads simultaneously snap up in anxiousness and anticipation, the previous moment forgotten, as they wait for him to speak.

"...They're back," he says, and they're on their feet a millisecond later.

She takes the lead as they burst through the hospital doors, looking frantically around the large room for signs of their comrades.

She sees a group of doctors crowding around a medical bed, and she's running towards them without a second thought. She pushes past them to get to the center of the circle they've created, Peeta's name ready on her lips as she expects to lock eyes with her district partner, but it isn't Peeta she sees; it's-

"Johanna?" She whispers, confused.

The woman in question grins devilishly at her as she tears out the IV in her arm, and as Katniss takes in her bald and haggard appearance she wonders what has been done to the others.

"Finnick!"

Her head snaps towards the sound, and she looks up just in time to see Annie Cresta ripping out her own IV from across the room and leaping off her bed to bolt towards the man whose name she's so fervently called. Her jaw drops, dread shaking her like a tremor, and within the next two seconds her greatest fears and insecurities are made a horrifying reality.

Annie runs to Finnick as though he's Life itself, and he to her, crossing the distance between them and scooping her up into his arms as she literally throws herself at him. Finnick grins and laughs and cries as he holds her close, spinning them around and cupping her face as he smiles at her and says her name over and over again with all the love and reverence in the world.

Katniss watches, eyes brimming with tears as she witnesses the display, and brings the back of her hand up to her mouth to keep from outright sobbing.

And suddenly she feels as though all of their time spent together was meaningless, all of the conversations and kisses and comfort they'd shared without point. Her heart breaks the moment they're in each other's arms, and she feels heavy and hollow as she watches from outside their happy, loving bubble.

She begins to turn around, not wanting Finnick or anyone else to see her in such a state of disarray, but the next thing she knows she's on the ground, a pair of thick, soft hands wrapped tight around her throat.

Her head hits the cold, spotless floors with a hard 'thunk' and her eyes widen in shock and confusion, unsuccessfully gasping for air as she registers Peeta's face being attached to the arms that are killing her...Peeta. Peeta was choking her. Peeta. The boy with the bread who wouldn't hurt a soul. The one who held her close and told her he loved her and kept her nightmares away. Peeta was choking her. And she had no idea why.

At first she fights it - shouts of alarm from various people sound off in the background as she struggles beneath his grip to try and throw him off of her, or at least to try and stop him from strangling the life out of her - but as the seconds pass, and her life begins to flash before her eyes, she gradually stops any such attempts from taking place.

Because the more she thinks, the more she realizes; what was the point? Even if she did get him off of her, what then? Would she get patched up and carry on with the rebellion and try not to think about the fact that neither Peeta nor Finnick seemed to love her too much at the moment? Everything would be so much easier if she were dead, for everyone. Finnick could be happy with Annie. Prim and her mother could stop worrying. Maybe Snow would even give up his attempts to crush the rebellion. She could stop being a nuisance. She could stop being a bother. She could die in peace...

She slowly closes her eyes, letting her muscles relax as far as they will go under the circumstances, and savors her last remaining bits of oxygen as she accepts her fate and welcomes her end-

Except it doesn't come.

Peeta is pulled off of her a moment later, and she's left laying there staring up at the ceiling trying to get her bearings. She tries to breathe but she can't; her windpipe was under so much pressure from Peeta's hold that the inside of her esophagus is stuck together, and though she appreciates that someone cared enough to try and save her, they may as well have just left him hovering over her with his heavy hands and that terrifyingly murderous expression.

She sees Haymitch's face, then Finnick's as he kneels down beside her and takes up her vision, his panicked expression blurring in and out of focus as she stares at him through half-lidded eyes.

The voices and fast-moving figures in the background all blur to a mild buzz, and just before everything fades to black she realizes with painful clarity that Snow was right.

It's the things we love most that destroy us.

End Pt III.