Chasing Dreams

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

"But if you love him, how can you hurt him?" Annie asked Carl. Unlike Mitchell, Carl was quite open about what he was and what he had done and Annie was taking this opportunity to try and understand vampires a little better.

"It's hard to understand unless you've been there, Annie. And I'm not just saying that to put you off. It's like... It's like you're two people. There's the person you used to be when you were alive, then there's the vampire. The person I used to be was very mild mannered, very understanding, very calm. The vampire in me is a seething mass of desire and hunger. Only when the vampire is sated can I be the person I used to be but then I have to live with what I've done."

"So the hunger, it's always there?"

"Not exactly. After a few months it dies off slightly but it's never gone. The hunger can build slowly over time or it can suddenly come rushing back at the slightest temptation. Even when it's not there, it's ever present. The knowledge that I'm just one paper cut away from killing someone weighs heavily on me at all times."

"And you can't refuse it?" she asked.

"You can, yes, but... I suppose it's like being severely dehydrated and suddenly finding a glass of water. Could you turn that glass down? The desire is so strong that at times it almost feels like I will die if I don't quench my thirst."

She had guessed most of this for herself, but she had just never imagined the desire being so great.

"It passes," he said, trying to reassure her. "Sometimes within seconds or sometimes it takes weeks, but it eventually passes again and I get to go back to being the man I want to be. Mostly."

"So when you felt the blood lust rising, why didn't you leave? Why risk hurting Paul?"

"Because I convinced myself I could handle it. The vampire inside us is very clever, Annie. It tricks us, it lies to us. And in my weaker moments, I start to believe those lies."

"Wow. I never realise it was that hard for him."

Carl reached out and patted her hand.

"Mitchell is a good man, Annie, but he's also a demon. If... When he fails, try to remember that there is a man in there too, as well as a demon."

"Yeah." Disconcerted by this conversation, Annie got up and began making some tea.

"At least he could never harm you," Carl said. "It must be nice for him to have someone who he can't hurt. Though I confess, I am curious about how your relationship works."

"Relationship?" She turned to him. "Oh no, we're just friends."

"But he's so protective of you and you... Well, I'm sorry if I miss read the situation."

"He's protective of George too, that's just who he is. And I do care about him, obviously I do, we're friends and he's a great guy and he has a great sense of humour and he's always there if I need him, and we did kiss once but that was by accident and I never think about it... hardly ever..." She realised she was talking herself into a relationship, not out of it. "What I mean is, I mean I don't think about him... in that way."

"Maybe you should." Carl smiled. "I think you'd be good for him."

Annie smiled nervously and turned back to the kettle. Sure, she liked him, but Mitchell was over a hundred years old, not to mention drop dead gorgeous. What would he want with a ghost he couldn't touch and who only wore grey when he could literally have anyone he wanted. No, those kind of thoughts were best left to her daydreams.

III

"This hair brained scheme will never work." Ivan said.

"We'll see. Just tell me I have your support?"