Lesson's Learned

Chapter Two: Now or Never

NOTE: sorry i took so long to update! please comment and vote!!! im begging!(:

When we pulled up to the beach my whole body froze. I knew I had to tell Jason about everything, but I wasn't sure how to do it. He opened his door and walked around the car to open my door. "Wanna take a walk down by the water?" he asked taking my hand. "Yeah sure" I said taking his arm around me. I started to get nervous and I think Jason picked up on it. "Emily baby is something wrong? You haven't been yourself all night." he said pausing. I started to cry knowing it was now or never, I had to tell him. "Babe, whats wrong?" he asked. "I have to tell you something." I mumbled closing my eyes as the tears rolled down my face. "Okay what is it? It can't be bad enough to make such a pretty girl cry" he responded. I knew at this point that if I didn't tell him now I never would. "Emily baby what is it?" he asked again. I took a deep breath. "Okay we should sit down first." I said wiping my bloodshot eyes. We sat down on the sand not too far from the water. The waves were crashing in and I could smell the salt in the air. "Okay now come on Emily, whats wrong?" he asked again. I started to shake really bad again. "I'm...pregnant." I whispered.

I looked over at Jason after I answered his question. He had such a stunned and shocked look on his face, I swear he had tears in his eyes. "Please say something, say anything" I begged wiping my eyes again. "I'm not sure what to say other then are you sure?" I shook my head. "I took the home test today, but I haven't seen a doctor yet." I responded. "So the test could be wrong then?" he asked. I nodded. "It's possible, but I don't think it's wrong. It makes sense." "What do you mean it makes sense?" he asked. "Well im late and I can't keep anything down." I answered. "Are you scared?" "Of course im scared. I'm sixteen im not ready to raise a baby yet." I said starting to cry again. He reached over and wrapped his arm around me. "Don't cry its gonna be okay. We'll ditch school tomorrow and go to the free clinic. We have to know for sure before we tell anyone. Did you tell anybody?" "Well yeah I told Casey, I had to talk to someone. I needed to vent before telling you. But she won't tell anyone." "I know she won't, but lets not tell anyone else until we know for sure, okay?" "Yeah it's probably best that way." I answered. I leaned into him and he hugged me tight. I felt a little better now that he knew, but I was still scared as hell.

We spent the next few hours just talking about things. "I just don't get how this could of happened. We always used protection." he said. "I know, but I guess it didn't work last time." I replied. "What are we going do?" he asked. I shook my head. "I honestly don't know, but im not sure we could raise a baby right now. My mom is going to flip the hell out on me when she finds out!" I said sobbing again. He didn't respond at first I figured he was thinking. "Yeah mine too!" "I'm sorry." I said. "Why are you sorry, this isn't all on you. We made this choice together." he said trying to comfort me. He held me in is arms for what felt like days instead of minutes. We sat on the sand a little longer and then we took a walk on the edge of the water, my favorite thing to do. The cool water felt so good on my feet. Part of me was scared as hell, but the other part of me figured that as long as I had Jason by my side I could make it through whatever. He was my rock and right now that's what I needed.

On the way home we didn't say too much, but we did talk a little. I could see how scared Jason was even though he tried his hardest to hide it. "Do you wanna have this baby?" he asked. "Honestly I want children in my future, im just not sure we could raise this child right now. So im not sure. I want kids im just worried that I couldn't give this baby the life they deserve. Plus I never want any child of mine to feel like a mistake." "So are you thinking about adoption or even abortion?" he asked. When he said abortion I started to cry. "I'm not sure that I could ever do that Jason, not even now!" "Well I will pick you up in the morning and we will go to the clinic like I said earlier okay?" he asked. "Well work through this together, just imagine how cute our baby will be." he said with a smile. I had to admit that it was a little strange that he would go from abortion and adoption to how cute our baby would be. "So if I decided to keep this baby you would be okay with that?" I asked as he pulled up in front of my house. "Yeah of course" he said. That couple of words was all I needed to hear to make me feel better. He kissed me goodnight as I climbed out of the car. I kept myself together long enough to get to the bathroom before I got sick.

I turned on the shower when I was finished. I looked in the mirror, I was a mess. I touched my stomach with both hands. "What am I going to do?" I asked myself out loud. I started to cry again. I wasn't even old enough to move out on my own and I was carrying my first child. I sat down on the floor and leaned up against the bathroom door. I sat there for an hour just sobbing and thinking back to the day that Jason and I had gotten ourselves into this situation. One day had changed our lives forever.