Jaine took cautious, yet strong steps on the snow, as Reed informed her that they were almost there. Following his footprints, Jaine was completely lost to where they were, but trusted that Reed knew the way back. 'He must've since he came back to get me.'
As she looked up at the clear sky, she thought it must've been twenty or so minutes since they left the cabin they were staying at with their friends, however she could not be sure. She just didn't want them to worry, or think that they were lost. She was also getting tired, the snow was deep and heavy, which made it harder to walk on. If she made one wrong step she could've ended up flat on the ground, and then she would be soaked, as well as cold.
She asked herself why she went with Reed. She could've been at the cabin right now, probably getting ready to ski with the others, or reading a novel while sipping on mulled wine as she was before Reed hastily interrupted it with promises of 'amazing snowy wonders'. It was that expectation in his eyes, and the smile he maintained as he tried to catch his breath, that made her come with him.
Jaine and Reed had been friends since they were babies. Aside from them being neighbours when they were young, their fathers had been friends since high school. After the death of Jaine's dad, Reed's father had become some sort of a replacement. If they weren't close before, Reed and her were like siblings from that point onwards. Which is why it was weird when Jaine started having feelings for him.
It was when Reed got a girlfriend that Jaine realised her feelings towards Reed. There was another girl in his life, and Jaine realized that she was beginning to get jealous. Whenever he would mention her, or she'd see them together, Jaine would just walk away. Only to go back, because she'd be afraid that if she didn't, he wouldn't bother going after her.
"Did you really go all this way?" she asked, they were going uphill now, and Jaine had to use her hands to balance herself.
"Almost there now." Reed replied, still balanced and controlled.
"That's what you said last time! And where is 'there'?"
"You'll see." she knew he was teasing her, but she could feel the excitement through his voice. "Have a little faith. It's not far now. Just up this hill. And it's worth it, believe me. The moment you see it, you will be very glad you came."
Reed loved sharing things he found amazing and beautiful, but the problem was he would find something amazing and beautiful in almost everything. As much as he found them, however, they also came to him. It was a nice deal he had with the universe.
Reed assisted her at the end of the climb, giving her a hand for support. As she got on top, she gathered her breath, and saw what Reed saw. Hills, and mountains, covered in untouched, unspoilt white, as far as the eye can see. The sunlight, hitting the hill just enough that even though the wind blew on it was strong and cold, the sun gave warmth. It was clear on the hill, like the head of a balding-middle aged man, which allowed the view to be unaltered. She located the cabin they stayed in by spotting the frozen lake nearby. It wasn't hard to miss from them. A little brown box, hidden behind trees, but not well enough for her eyes.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" Reed finally broke the shared silence, as the soaked in the moment.
"I can see the cabin from here." Jaine pointed out.
"Yeah. That's what I love about this spot." Reed began "You can see all of nature and earth in it's might, but still get a reminder that humans are still here."
"Are you trying to be deep? Because it's not working?"
"At least I'm trying. What are you thinking?"
"I am thinking that humanity is pointless. We are like that cabin, in all this might of the earth, a small spot in the middle, hard to see, but we think we are important. But really, it doesn't matter if we are there or not, until we are noticed, and then, suddenly, this whole landscape, that once felt untouched, and beautiful, feels contaminated."
There was a pause, as Reed processed Jaine's words. He sat down on the snow, facing the cabin. Jaine looked back at the cabin. She wondered if everyone was still there, or if they had left by now.
"Why are you such a pessimist?" Reed asked finally, his question feeling more like an insult, Jaine felt the need to defend herself.
"I wouldn't say I am a pessimist, I am more of a realist." Jaine replied "How are you such an optimist? How can you see the positive in everything all the time?"
Reed shrugged, he didn't have an answer.
They had had conversations like this before, and Jaine knew that this wasn't the last time they'd have conversations that went along these lines, but she still asked. He still didn't answer. But he didn't need to answer. Reed had always been like this, and she knew that he would always be like this, just like she would always be like her. That's how they were, that's what made them work, this was their dynamic.
"I don't want you to go." Jaine admitted.
"What?" Reed asked, almost sounding completely unaware of what she was talking about.
"You know what."
"I have to go."
"I know. It's an amazing opportunity, and you really need to go. But I don't want you to go"
This was the first time Jaine had brought up Reed's departure since he had told her about it, the night before they left for the trip. It was at his apartment, after they finished their marathon of Star Wars movies. "By the way, I got accepted to R.U.T." he had mentioned it so calmly, and in passing that he made it sound like it wasn't even a big deal. She didn't even believe him for a second.
"You got into Rockgrove?" Jaine asked in awe. Reed nodded.
"I don't know if I want to go, I mean if I do, I have to go after we come back from the trip, settle in. They have some introductory courses that start mid-year, and it will just make it easier to settle, you know?" he still sounded so calm about it.
"That is crazy, dude!" Jaine couldn't help but feel excited for him."You have to go! Rockgrove has been your dream since you were twelve! You have to go!"
"I know." Reed sighed, and gave her a smile.
"Do you want to go?" Jaine asked.
"I don't know." Reed looked at her "Do you want me to go?"
"Let me think about it." Jaine replied. Deep down, Jaine knew that this day would come, and for selfish reasons she had dreaded it. She looked away, she felt like if she looked back at Reed, he would read her thoughts.
Reed had so much going for him, his life was ahead, and it was going to be amazing. It was hard to not see that he did. Then there was Jaine, the cabin in Reed's landscape of a life. Something that was there, and would just distract if stuck on. 'What is the point of a cabin while there is no one in it?' Jaine thought.
-
Their way back to the cabin felt like it went faster than it did on their way to the spot on the hill. Jaine was just glad that Reed still knew the way, however, once being on top of the hill, it was hard to get lost herself, as she knew the general direction she had to walk before getting to the cabin.
Their friends were still away when they got to the cabin, and the fire in the fireplace was out. Reed gathered some of the firewood, and managed to get a fire going, which started to warm the cabin.
They sat by the fire and watched it burn, they were silent but appreciated each other's presence.
She remembered a time, that was not so long ago, but now felt like forever. When they were too naive to know what the future held. They had made a promise, that they would always, no matter what, stick together. They were so sure back then.
Now, not so much.
