Imperfect perfection

Prologue

I felt the blade cut into my skin. The physical pain relieving all the emotions running rampant in my head.
I thought of my life and how perfect it was. About how imperfect that perfection seemed.
I thought about all my insignificant problems. About how they all seemed to overwhelm my mind.
I thought about all my friends. I thought about how pretty and happy and normal they all seemed.
I thought about my parents and how they deserved better than me. I thought about the disappointment I always see in their eyes when they look at me.
I thought of my brother and sister. About how much hey expect from me.
Each thought caused my shaky hands to cut a little deeper. To slice a little further. To cover my thighs in red streaks until I felt my emotions flowing out of me as if they were my blood.
I thought of how it looks like my thighs were crying the tears my eyes couldn't summon.
I thought of how it would feel if I just let them bleed.
If I just let myself disappear.