Imperfect perfection

2

As I walked along the pathway to class, I noticed the office door opening and he principle coming out. He had an person around my age walking with him that I supposed was new.

Since we were in grade 12 I didn't expect any new students this year. I knew the girls were going to be talking about him at lunch though. They were suckers for gossip and I just usually nodded along.

I had chemistry first today, a subject that I don't like very much. But I still had to do it to get a good OP. I had to do it to get out of here.

I so badly wanted to get away. Away from school and away from home. To just leave and never look back. But I knew I was kidding myself. I was to much of a wimp to leave.

I kept walking with my head down, occasionally bumping into people and saying sorry. I got to class and sat in the back corner next to another nobody called Charlie.

I liked sitting next to Charlie because he wouldn't ask me anything. He knew how I felt just like I knew how he felt. He was good to sit next to.

I rested my head against the window and stared out it as best as I could. It hurt my eyes a bit but I didn't mind.

I noticed when the new kid came in by the usual chatter from the class stopped. I didn't bother looking up as I already knew who it was.

I tuned out as the principle introduced him to our form class. I flicked my eyes away from the window as he took a seat in front of me. His hair was brownish but when the sun shined on it, it has a reddish tint to it. I wish I had hair as cool as his.

I resumed my position of looking out the window when the class started. It was nothing I didn't know already so I lost myself in my thoughts.

I was thinking about home. And my parents. And my siblings. And my 'friends'. I was always so invisible to them and I didn't understand why.

Why was I the only invisible one? Why was I always the one that disappointed everyone? Didn't they know I tried? I suppose my best was never going to be good enough?

I was pulled out of my thoughts when a crow landed on the pathway. I jumped a little but watched it in wonder. He was beautiful with sleek black feathers and his sharp beak. I wish I was a beautiful as him.

I wish I could be him. Free to go where ever I wanted. Free to just up and fly away from my problems. To soar up in the sky and never have a care in the world. To bad I was me and there was nothing I would do about it.

'Hey are you okay?' I heard a timid voice asking me. I looked over to see Charlie looking at me with worry. I realised I had a tear slowly making its way down my cheek.

I quickly wiped it away and said 'yeah, just thinking.' I hadn't noticed the the new guy was looking at me to until I saw him turn back to the front in the corner of my eye. Charlie still looked worried about me so I smiled at him the smile I used with everyone else. The fake one.

As always, he believed it and went back to work. I was good at lying to people. Or maybe they just didn't want to care, and used it as a way to dismiss me without being mean.

I glanced up at the clock at the front of the room and saw we only had 10 minutes of class left. I couldn't wait to get out of the room. Except for the fact that maths was next. At least I somewhat enjoyed maths. It was the only thing I was good at.

The bell rung just as I finished packing up. I made my way to the door with my head down and went to put my things in my bag. I was walking away when I bumped into someone. I swear I couldn't be any more oblivious to the people around me.

I muttered a soft sorry and started walking away until they grabbed my arm. I quickly looked up into the new guy's eyes and my own widened in shock.

Why was he noticing me? I said sorry and I didn't mean to bump into him. He just looked at me with a scowl and said 'maybe if you kept your head up it wouldn't have happened.'

I just stared at the floor again and he shoved me away from him as if he was disgusted that he even touched me. He probably was, who would want to touch someone like me anyway?

I started walking away, occasionally getting shoved into walls when i bumped into people. One girl even slapped me for nearly stepping on her new shoes.

I just took it and kept walking. The sting of the slap felt good to me. It took away some of my mental pain. But that was only for a second.

I didn't notice the foot until it was to late and I was falling to the ground. My hands only just reacted in time to stop most of the impact. My chin and forehead still hit the ground pretty hard though.

People laughed but I just lay there, my hands stinging from the concrete, my chin and forehead throbbing from hitting the ground and my cheek slightly numb. I let a tear fall before someone's feet stood before my tired eyes.