What Remains (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 4

7 years ago

A warm hand held the other one as the two boys watched the casket was being sunk into the ground in front of them. Carter looked to his side and saw the teary eyes and red cheeks of Josh, who was quietly sobbing next to him. He kept holding his hand tightly as he stood there next to him, eventually pulling him in to hug him as well. The casket disappeared into the dirt and Josh's father spoke some last words before everyone left to go back inside. Grey clouds had flooded the sky and Josh and Carter followed the sobbing people while still holding each other's hands.

Josh hadn't said a word the entire day. When Carter came over early in the morning, all he did was hug him and remain silent with him. He wasn't sure what to say to him either. Losing a mother must feel so horrible, Carter couldn't even begin to imagine what it must feel like. Once inside the center, he looked around to see Josh's father taking a swig of wine before people came up to him to give him their condolences.

"Hey," Carter whispered to Josh and squeezed his hand. "Let's go somewhere else."

Josh could only nod, his eyes red from his tears even though there were none coming out anymore. Carter pulled him along with him and they walked back outside, avoiding the sobbing people and managing to get away unseen. He figured Josh couldn't stand being around so much sadness anymore, and constantly having people come up to him, telling him how sorry they are for him, didn't help at all.

He led him over and away from the graveyard, to the small open spot in the forest the graveyard was located at.

Hayland graveyard was quite a depressing place. Carter didn't like being there at all, even though his grandfather was buried there. The two of them sat down down in the grass against a tree, still holding each other's hand as they looked out at the forest.

Carter was giving Josh all the silence he needed. He could understand that nobody felt like talking a lot if someone very close to them had just died.

He then felt a warm pressure against his shoulder and he turned his head slightly to find Josh's head resting against the crook of his neck.

"I miss her," he murmured softly. A small wet spot formed on Carter's shirt when tears escaped Josh's eyes again and the boy closed his eyes. "Carter? Can you promise me something?"

Carter had draped his arm around Josh's shoulder to hold him a little closer, hoping he'd feel less lonely with him by his side. "Of course," he said. "What is it?"

Josh was silent for a brief moment before he nuzzled Carter's shoulder a bit more. "Please don't ever leave me," he said. "Don't leave me behind."

Carter didn't really understand why he had to promise this. Of course he wasn't ever going to leave Josh. Why would he ever want to? Though if Josh wanted him to promise that, then he would.

"I promise," he said. "I'd never leave you, Josh."

Now

Carter had walked up to the docks. He wasn't exactly sure why Alyssa wanted to meet up with him. He had seen enough already, and Josh only confirmed what he had thought that was. Though at the same time he also wanted to have answers from Alyssa. His two best friends were suddenly dating and nobody had told him. Did Alyssa even know about the things Josh had told him? About what they had done the day he moved?

She couldn't have. Carter knew she'd never go out with Josh if she knew.

Carter looked around him when he arrived at the place where they had met up. Even though it had been less than an hour ago, it all seemed so long ago already. He had to slightly squint his eyes due the sunlight as he looked around.