(supernatural au)
even at a young age, castiel novak didn't get to have what other boys had. christmas had vanished from his memory, and in its place were scalpels, needles, and experiments. castiel had darkness and loneliness. the scientists couldn...
"he had a dented halo and broken wings but that was the beauty about him."
please tell me if I inaccurately described Cas's panic episode later in the chapter
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"I'm... No, that can't possibly be right."
Dean had his eyes closed with his face in his hands. Castiel looked out the window. The moon was the same, the stars were the same. This couldn't be true.
How could that much time have passed without him noticing? Being trapped in that room had felt like an eternity, but how could it have really been that long?
Dean lifted his head up and he looked absolutely horrified. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes and Castiel wasn't really sure why. "Son of a bitch," Dean choked up, blinking rapidly.
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"Those bastards. That isn't right, Castiel, you know this isn't right. They took that life from you."
Castiel felt his heart pump out faster and faster until he couldn't breathe. Twenty-six? He'd missed everything. He'd never gotten to be a kid, let alone a teenager. He hadn't gotten a sweet sixteen or gone out with his friends the night he became an adult. He hadn't gotten to go to school or college, he hadn't done anything.
Dean was right. They'd taken something precious from him, and there was no way to get it back. He wanted to puke.
"Don't pity me, Dean. I told you I don't want it. That time is gone, there's nothing I can do to get it back."
There was a silence, Castiel fidgeted in the seat. He wanted to run away from this stranger and never look back. Things would be simpler if he was by himself.
But he knew he might not last if he was alone.
"I like your car," Castiel mumbled, filling up the empty space.
Immediately Dean flipped some sort of switch and his face lit up. He erased the sadness from his face, and smiled, "Baby? Ain't she a beauty?" He patted the dashboard affectionately. "A 1967. Before your time, even."
"Are cars different now?" Castiel asked, cocking his head to the side. He would rather talk about cars than himself right now.
"You could say that," Dean grumbled. Obviously he wasn't too happy about it. The car really was nice, and Castiel could tell that Dean kept it that way. The exterior of it was shiny and new, the black coating was practically sparkling in the moonlight. The leather seats were smooth and comfortable.
Castiel grabbed the seat belt with the intent to fasten it around his waist when he was blasted by a wave of deja vu. What a normal act this was. He hadn't experienced normal in a long time. It didn't seem like twenty years had flown by since his Mother had fastened him into a car seat or placed a juice box in the cupholder.
