Through The Dark

Monster

I immediately regretted that. I shouldn't have mouthed off. But, I'm not going to apologize.

"What was that?" She whips around on her heels. "You said something." She knew damn well what I said. I just shook my head and kept my mouth closed. I'm still not one hundred precent sure how women work, but this was a test. I think. "Niall, just say it again."

"You're going to go pout because I won't let us have a stupid baby." I lip again. I sigh to myself. What am I doing. I know better than this.

"I just want to be a family! I want to start a family! I don't want it to be the two of us anymore! And now our baby is stupid?!" She throws her hands up. "Unbelievable." She turns around again.

"Wait don't." I stand up. I can't believe she actually is getting me to fight with her about this. I'm actually starting to get angry. I curl my hands into fists.

"What? Are you gonna tell me you really don't even want to be married?!" She yells at me.

"We've been married for like three months! Of course I don't want fucking kid yet!" I hollar back and follow her into the kitchen. I've never actually fought with someone like this. Just my brother, when we were young. Never like this. I never thought there would come a day I'd yell at sam.

"But you won't tell me why?! That's all I want and you won't talk to me for shit's sake!" She screams back.

"Fine?! You want to know?! I don't want you to die! You're going to get pregnant and you're going to have a baby, and you're going to die! Just like Perrie! We're supposed to make these choices together! For the rest of our lives! I don't choose that! I choose you over a baby!" I can feel my face turn red as spit flies from my mouth.

"Get over it?! Seriously?! My best friend lost his wife months before our wedding?! And I'm suppose to 'get over it'?! You're kidding me!" I scream, still not facing her.

"Well it wasn't your wife, who you apparently don't give two shits about her feelings anyway!" I hear her walking up the steps.

"Get back down here! I'm not done! Who said I don't give two shits about you?! I love you! I fucking love you!" I turn around and run after her. "I told you not to go up there!" I grab her wrist and pull her back down. "Just get through you head that I don't want a baby!" I scream as I push her shoulder against the staircase. Her eyes well up with tears just as the front door opens. She breaks away from my grip and runs up the stairs, slamming our bedroom door.

"Ya two okay?" Harry says, as he and Madi stand in the door.

"No...." I let a few tears fall down my face. "I fucked up...." I slide down the wall and continue to cry.

"I'll go see Sam." Madi walks past me.

"Did you see me there Harry?! I don't know what happened! What happened to me!? What did I do?!" I lay on my back and he sits next to me. "I'm so stupid." I wipe my face on my shirt. "Did you see her? I yelled at her. She looked scared. I yelled at her just like Travis. I can't believe I did that....I'm so fucking stupid!" I scream again as my voice cracks. "She's gonna hate me..."

"She's not gonna hate you..." Harry finally speaks. "It'll be okay."

"No it's not! Did you see how she looked at me?! She looked at me like I was a monster!" I roll over and cry into the carpet.

"Listen, it's just a fight. I've fought with Madi before... we used to do it all the time. We're okay. You two will be just fine." He rubs my back. "Your first fight as a married couple always feels like the end of the world. Ask anyone."

"You don't get it. I grabbed her. I pulled her down the stairs. Have you ever hurt Madi?" He doesn't say anything for a long while. "See. When did I think this was okay? What happened to me?"