I want to die, I want to live

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I want to die
But I don't want to die from my own hands
I want to live
But I can't anymore
I want to stop being lonely
But it's my fault I am
I want to stop being selfish
But I will die if I stop
I want to help
But I can't even help myself
I want to stop being not good enough
But that's all I ever will be
I want to die
I want to live
But I don't now how

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