Lazaretto (Camren)

T W E N T Y - T H R E E

"A sad soul can kill quicker than a germ." –John Steinbeck

CAMILA

I woke up with a headache. It was pounding harshly with every heartbeat. There was that blissful moment where I had for a split second forgotten about the night before, but I was well reminded as soon as I managed to open my eyes. It was difficult considering they were swollen and achy. I didn't remember when I fell asleep, guessing it was sometime between grieving for the life and family I would never have or crying over Lauren. Sighing deeply, my eyes widened when I felt a pair of arms tighten around my waist. I carefully turned around to face him, and thankfully Austin stayed asleep.

I didn't even hear him come in, glad he didn't see me in the state of hysterics I was in. Bringing my hand up to touch his cheek, it was then that I realized how weak I felt. It was shaky against the slight stubble on his chin. The light from outside was filtering in through the window, creating a checkerboard shadow across his face and body. It couldn't be later than five or six in the morning, and I decided then that that was my favorite time of day; just before the sun rises, when the stars were beginning to fade and the sky turned from midnight to azure. The time when you're awake before anyone else, and your thoughts and ideas are the first of their kind. The air was crisp and there was dew on the grass (or in this case, snow on the ground). The time when the birds haven't yet chirped, and the crickets were still whistling melodies.

Outlining the contours of Austin's face, tracing every scar and memorizing the constellations of freckles that littered his body, I then slowly ran my fingertips across the goose bumps of his skin like a blind person would of their favorite novel. I wanted to capture his soul in a jar and save it forever. He had been so patient with me, waiting for me to commit to him fully. I was ready to then. Austin had to be my first choice from now on. I was committed to him completely. My heart (what was left of it) belonged to him.

"How did I get so lucky?" I whispered to myself out loud. Leaning in and placing a kiss against his cheek, he stirred awake at the sensation, and I mentally cursed myself.

"There's no such thing as luck, just golden opportunities," he said in a husky voice. How long had he been awake? He smiled slightly and removed his arm from around my waist to brush a piece of hair behind my ear as I looked up and met his gaze, instantly drawn to his eyes. I remembered the time he told me his favorite color was black, and I told him mine was blue. I had pictured it many times when I had taken a dive into his ocean colored eyes, floating on the surface of his irises. That was the only color of blue I liked.

"You look like you've been crying," he implied.

"I think I made up for all of the times I should have."

Without another word or an explanation, he leaned over and kissed each of my eyes closed.

"Go back to sleep." He enveloped me in his arms once again. "We still have a couple hours before we have to be up for training." 

Nodding my head against his chest knowing very well I wouldn't fall back asleep, I instead watched the night fade into morning.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I flinched when I heard my alarm clock buzzing. Reaching over Austin and turning it off only to flop back down onto the bed, Austin stretched out and rubbed his eyes. He rolled over on his side and looked at me, his hair sticking out every which way.

"Good morning," he smiled.

"Good morning," I returned, sitting up. "We should probably get up."

"Five more minutes," he begged.

"Fine, five more minutes. But if we have to run extra because we're late, I'm telling Derek it's your fault."