Jeopardy: The Fourth Quarter Quell

Murderer - Amure

Amure

"Was it...?"

I don't want her to know so I say nothing. The feel of the wind on my head is still odd and there's spots of blood on my hand that won't come off. The blade is clean, free of the deed, but no matter how much I scrubbed at my fingers with the leaves, the blood won't shift.

"Ammie, please tell me."

She sits at my feet and I note her eyes, big and pleading, looking into big sister's eyes for some trace of the sister who used to be there. She wants to know and I don't want her to. I rub at the blood again but it has dried into the creases where dirt used to crack before.

"I know you only want to protect me, Ammie, but you can't protect me forever and I don't want to see it on screen and...I'm scared."

She's my sister and she's scared, and I'm trying so hard to make sure that she doesn't have to be. She shouldn't be here, I should have put some other name, but she's here and it's my fault and I'm supposed to be looking after her. I reach a hand out for hers. It feels warm and full of life and blood that will not be spilt.

"He held my hand." I hear the words drop out of my mouth. I can no more stop them than stop the sun from rising. "He looked down and he saw the knife in his heart and he looked at me and he took my hand and held it tight and it was already cold."

"Ammie, what...?"

"His companion did nothing. Do you remember the Jerseys, Nina? Once the knife was in he didn't even try to fight back. He curled up on the ground and howled like a baby and he cursed. But Perry was always calm."

Nina's hand starts to shake, but it's too late; I can't stop. She asked and I can hear my own voice like it's nothing to do with me, and it's flat and toneless.

"He asked me where my hair was. He lay there on the ground with one cold hand holding mine and the knife sticking out of him, and he frowned at me and asked me what had happened to my hair."

"Ammie, please..."

"And I told him I'd cut it off with the knife that killed him."

Nina pulls her hand free.

"And he said that it was a shame because I had nice hair. And his friend shouted that I was a witch. And then they didn't say any more."

"Jersey," Nina stutters. "Connor...Ammie, you're scaring me..."

I can't look at her, can't see what this is doing to her. But the words keep coming, rolling out of my mouth. I look at the dull brown floor and listen to my own words. "I took the knife out of him. It wouldn't move so I had to put my hand on his chest to take it out and he was already cold and his eyes were looking at me. So I tipped his head back."

"Perry...Ammie, please, stop!" Nina's voice is a shriek but it does nothing.

"I tipped his head back so he was looking at the sky. And I tried again and this time the knife came out and the blood...so much blood."

Nina falls silent, apart from hunched up little sobs that wrench at my heart. My little sister is crying. I made her cry. And I killed Perry.

"Nina..."

"Harmless!" she sobs. "He was harmless! He said you were pretty, Ammie, do you remember? At the interviews before he fell down, he looked at you and he said you were one of the prettiest girls in the district!"

I don't remember. And it doesn't matter anyway.

"He's dead now."

"You...you..."