Maybe I should've told someone where I was going before running out of the flat and not coming back in since I had texts from of the boys. I told them I needed to clear my head and walk around. I ended up in a park with no one around. I sat down on a swing and slowly rocked back and forth. I was surprised that there weren't any fans around, I almost never get alone time now. Sometimes I think 'What if I never got placed in this band?' or 'Do I really deserve to be here?'. Every day I have a million things to sort out in my head.
When I headed back to the flat it was sunset. I've always loved the sunset. It's so perfect, with the orange sun and the purple and pink colors radiating from it. I could spend hours staring at the scene. When I walked through the door, I was pelted with questions on why I left. Usually the boys are fine with me leaving, but I left so abruptly that I might have worried them. I told them I needed some space and walked to my room, and I stayed there until I heard all of the other boys leave. I walked into the bathroom and grabbed the hidden razor. I made a few cuts before cleaning up and going to bed.
"Niall!" someone yelled in my ear. I groaned, I didn't want to be up so early. "You have mail!" the person screamed again. Misty. I shot up and took the letter Louis was holding in his hand. "OK. Thanks, now leave me alone." I told him. "Sure thing Nialler!" he answered while leaving the room. I opened the letter to find the same handwriting as the letter before. She sent her address which wasn't to far from here, she also sent her phone number. I sent a text asking if it was her and she responded yes. I asked if we could get together tomorrow, and she replied yes. I sighed in relief knowing that I could let my feelings out. We planned to meet tomorrow at her house.
I walked out of my room to find the boys in the kitchen. "Hey Niall!" Zayn said. My stomach had butterflies just when he talked. I was partially mad at myself for having feelings for him and partially mad at him for making me feel like this. I was also mad that the boys wouldn't understand, and I don't think anyone will ever understand. "Hey!" I said trying to hide the sadness that was in my voice. "We were thinking maybe we could all go to Nandos." Liam said. My eyes lit up, I loved Nandos. "Yeah! Let's go!" I said. We all got into the car. I had to sit in between Zayn and Louis. I could feel the tension between us. I've been avoiding him for a couple days for obvious reasons. When we arrived at Nandos I got out of the car as fast as I could just to get out of the awkwardness.
Zayn's p.o.v
I'm worried about Niall. He's been very distant lately, and he seems to be avoiding me. It hurts a lot actually because I really like him, and more than a friend. I mean who doesn't like him he's perfect. I'm only dating Perrie because I don't want people to know I'm bi. Yeah Perrie's nice, but I don't feel anything for her. Not only is there awkwardness between me and Niall, there's something going on between Liam and Louis. I've seen the way they look at eachother, just the way I would look at Niall. I want to find out what's going on between them.
