The Sound of Drums
Ch. 00: Introduction
“To be ill-adjusted to a deranged world is not a breakdown.” – Jeanette Winterson
Smile for me. Smile that beautifully broken, sorrowful smile for me, and let me bask in a world that is so undeniably fake, it is undoubtedly real. Smile for me – just this once, is all I ask for.
I can still hear the bittersweet treble of your voice call to me in the night, telling me that I am not to blame for the faults of the world, for what others are still too blind to accept. But you never did understand the true me. The world is not at fault, my love. I am to blame. I am the monster. I am the reason you are confined to this bed, lifeless.
You always wanted to think that I was perfect. You never wanted to acknowledge the cracks just below the surface. I can’t be the perfect man that you deserve. I can’t be your knight in shining armor. No, I am the man who hides from battle, who cowers from commitment. All I am good for is being a disappointment to those who once cared for me after all.
As you lay there, so still, I couldn’t help but think of you as a doll. The cracked wood of your face turned toward the window, the rain on the windowpane reflected on your face like tears that would never fall. It was painfully apparent then that you would never smile for me again, as the breath of life had been robbed from your lungs. But still, the hope within me lived.
I’m a foolish mortal, Lilly. Some have deemed me brilliant, others mad, but none have been so bold as to call me foolish – that is a title I reserve for myself, and will take only from my own mouth. I know what he did to you. I know it, and still, I sit here and wish for you to smile for me. It is such a selfish want, I know. Selfish and foolish. The perfect definition of Dr. Alexandre Mortimer.
And so, knowing full-well how all of this will turn out, I will ask this of you once more. Smile for me. Smile that beautifully broken, sorrowful smile for me, and let me bask in a world that is so undeniably fake, it is undeniably real.
Smile for me – just this once, is all I ask for.
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The Sound of Drums
RomanceDr. Alexandre Mortimer, a scientist who suffers from manic depression and multiple personality disorder, has never desired much in his twenty-eight years. A recluse by nature, he doesn't feel the need to surround himself with other people and, with...
