Would You Judge?

As I sit here at this bus station, others stare at me.

They smile when I look at them, but inside their judging me.

All they see is an informal girl. A girl who is free and wild.

A girl who is stuck up and arrogant with her coloured hair and funky nails, perfectly filed.

Little did you know my judges, my panel, my examining body.

There's a lot you still don't know yet, there's a lot more you should see.

I was born and pretty unwanted. But Its not like they hated me.

I was taught how to walk and talk, totally normally.

It wasn't until I turned eleven, when my world began to change. 

My so called 'role model' decided to switch to another lane.

I watched her pack and leave, before my very eyes.

I guess that love she showed me was nothing but simple lies.

She shut the door so coldly, taking with her my sun too. 

No light was left for me because when I turned around he said 

"I don't want you."

At thirteen I learnt to accept life, admit I was another one of the abused.

Because after she left he became a monster and alcohol was his muse.

I decided I hated life, and nothing could make me care. 

This pain and suffering may have been non-existent if only she were here.

Every night I'd cry myself to sleep, in a book I would spill an account from 'the life of me'. 

My belief in love and hope was lost, but cant anyone see?

If ones wings have been beaten and torn, How can one fly free?

Every day she told me she might go away. 

She said "Don't worry Skylar, everything will be okay".

She told me that she loved me but leaving is best for me and dad. 

But her leaving was the start of a life I wish I never had.

She lied...

At fifteen I was sure it was time to give up and time to end despair.

I lifted a kitchen knife and held it in the air.

" I'm done with all the hate! I'm done with all this pain!" 

The blade made forced contact with my skin and slashed it precise and plain.

The blood poured down my fingers and as I watched it I knew I wouldn't go,

this wasn't as easy as a little reality game show.

But I was too determined to end myself, close the book on this very chapter. 

It would only hurt for a little while, after that It wouldn't matter.

The blade made contact once again. I froze. Am i going this insane?!

At 16 I questioned why I'm here, Living but hating every day.

I longed to die and endure no more and if I told you what would you say? 

But then came an angel, a descendant of hope.

He wrapped round my broken heart, a sparkling golden rope.

He showed me a whole other world that I was too blind to see. 

But the memories I share with him is a whole new beautiful story....

He set me free...

Now I breath with an angel. But on earth, not in the sky.

I regret the days I uttered those words; "I really want to die."

Life has changed so much for me,

I didn't realise there was much more left to see.

Only because he set me free...

So now, when I sit here at this bus station,

what would you think if you knew?

If you knew about my life for a second and everything I have been through?

Would you now say I dress funny or dress to express my emotions? 

Or would you eye me out and never fail to judge my every motions?

You see, judging is a waste of time, a silly way to play life's game.

 So next time I would advice you, Leave others alone and focus on your own name.

It may just set them free...

---

Keep loving <3

~ Skylar x