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I Met Him With Boxers Over My ! Head !

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Hey guyzzz just thought that I would try putting the beginning of this story up. Tell me what you humans think of it.

comment on what you think PLZZZ VOTE IF U LIKE IT IM TRYING TO JUMP FROM 805 ON THE HUMOR LIST BACK 504 OR EVEN HIGHER SOOO PLZ VOTE IF U LIKE THIS STORY / CHAPTER THANXXXX :)

Comment / vote / fan / add to library / falling in love with the book.... Na I'm joking.

By the way I made up some of the words lol

Anyway plz comment it kills me when people don't.

From meeeee!!!!!!

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Chapter 1  

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I stared at the computer screen for hours hoping that by some amazing miracle God would come and take me and my happy laptop up into the sky.

Hi, is what I am meant to say but in my case I would say screw my life.  

The name's Kelly Clarkson Smith aka kel. Now before you all start saying 'OMG it's that celebrity that has blond hair and sang Break way' I AM NOT HER. My sad, idiotic and brain numbing parents decided to name their child after a star. So here I am official made from my mum's egg and my dad's sperm. The end result wasn't so great. I am 16 maybe flying to 17 if God doesn't decide to start the rapture before then. My hair is brown and wirey- if that's even a word; I have blue boring bowls as eyes - alliteration lol. And I have a slim body that my mum keeps saying has all the curves in all of the right places, but when you hear that from your mum everyday that occasionally means ' if only she had all the curves in the right places'. You see my mum believes in 'positive out comes only' so if she keeps saying it HOPEFULLY it will come to past.

Today is the begging of another day of my 'oh so fun' summer holiday. I am a California chick that believes that girls do not have moustaches on top of their upper lips but peach fuzz, that can be occasionally know as the 'man in the woman' - insert confuzzeled face here.

So here I am walking to Macy's (the shop) with a direct order from my mum saying that I have to buy my dad a pair of new boxer for his birthday which is today. I faintly remember telling her that I would look like a freak searching for a 'delicate' pair of male underwear and how on earth would I know his size. Her stunning reply was that when I get married, by some 'wired occasion' I would learn to know my husbands size. Traumatizing right? She also told me not to get silk, cause it leave's dad on the 'itchy side'. Just thinking back to it makes the hair on my eye balls cringe.

I walked into the shop acting like a normal person, strolling through the aisles while dragging my hand through several pieces of woman's under wear, before I finally reached the line.  

This was no ordinary line, for it was the line of all lines that crossed the lines that had lines even for those who didn't have lines it was still known as the lines before the lines of history. Yes, it was the line that segregated the males under thingamajig and the female's whatchamacallits.

Taking a deep breath and hoping that I would suffocate and die on the spot I slowly lifted my right foot and crossed the line. With my eyes closed I grabbed a hold of my left foot and warned it that if it tried to run away, I would get Chucky to operate on it. Lifting my left leg, did a 90 degree turn, with my legs sticking out, still with my eyes closed. I heard some one groan in pain. I think I hurt the line. 

I don't remember lines having mouths or being able to talk. I mean yeah dogs and cats are an acceptation but lines, I don't think so.

Struggling to open my eyes and scared to face an angry line. I noticed a body crouched down on the floor. He wore a jersey that said 'Feisty Feared Lions' with the initials of 'D. M' on it and I knew instantly that it was Drake More.  

One of those dick obsessed, man whore, girl licking, crocodile eating jocks from my school. Sausage sticks! Clearing my throat I made the first noise.

"Art you oya?" I said in a Chinese accent. Just as he was about to lift up his head I grabbed the nearest item of clothing and used it as a head scarf. So that it covered most of my face I think.

"Yes I'm- what is on your head?" he asked looking a bit to confused for my liking.  

I opened my eyes slowly trying to imitate Chinese eyes while squinting them. 

I could make out that he had jet black hair, green amused eyes and a twitch in the corner of his lips ready to laugh.

"Oh dis is fork me dad" I said rummaging my brain for words to use. "In...erm China we test dis by.. erm putting it on me head...yeah yes" and with that I grabbed the closest male pant I could find and tugged it over his head so that it blocked his source of vision.

"Hey- what do you-"  

"konichiwa!" I yelled before he finished his words. I swear that means bye.

"That means hi" he groaned trying to pull of the 'hat' that fitted his obese head.

Opps, my mistake. I dashed towards the paying area place. And knowing me I got lost. Luckily I found a shop assistant.

"Erm escusezzz me were do we pay fork this" I continued in my Chinese accent. Oh boy I'm starting to feel it in my blood. Next thing you know I'll be craving sushi.

The woman turned to face me and looked at me funny and pointed towards the left side of the store.

"Erm over there" she said while suppressing a laugh.

I frowned at her "you know in me contryyy they will sue you fork muckinggg the traditional act of de China town" I growled.

The woman looked guilty at first but then I reassured her by telling her that I would not report her to the Chinese government and that they would not cut her up and use the remains as sushi juice.

I finally found the counter and paid for my I mean my dads under thing. Don't worry I took it off of my head by then. While leaving the store I thought for a few seconds about what I had just done to one of the most popular guys in the entire bloody flipping eggy school.

He would defiantly be looking for a Chinese girl that uses male underwear as a head scarf and says 'fork' instead of 'for'. I think I might have to retire from my Chinese ways just to stay on the safe side.

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What u think? U likeeee - insert wavy eyebrows here : )

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