"daddy where are you going?" i asked,
to which you replied.."just to get my medicine princess."
but daddy i knew the truth, your medicine is vodka at 2am drinking away the pain, until all that you can feel is dizzy steps and a numb body. i know sissy hasn't been back in three days and you say she's at camp, but you drive the empty streets at night looking for her. i remember the last thing mommy said was to get your sh!t together and then maybe you two could be together again, but daddy i can see you falling apart inside..piece by piece
"daddy are you okay, you look sad.." i asked
but all you did was throw a bottle and scream at me to get lost
daddy you smell like alcohol and your beard has gone untrimmed for months now. sissy hasn't been back in weeks and you won't tell me where she is..daddy im having nightmares again, but you shove me aside and say "get over it"
"dad, you need to stop" i said.
but you kept drinking..
"dad, youre sick!" this time i yelled.
you yelled back, "NO IM NOT SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT"
daddy i know you don't mean it, but it hurt so much..i have a collection of scars, and last night i added to it. daddy you've lost yourself in a sea of self loathing and your demons are eating you alive. daddy my hand is out, im reaching to pull you up. but you refuse..daddy you dont deserve this, you dont deserve this punishment that youve chosen for yourself, you dont deserve to feel this way.
"daddy please..you have to stop." this time im in tears.
"i cant." you replied without a care in the world.
"daddy, let me help you."
"no." you said with a firm but 'tipsy' tone.
daddy i know sissy isn't coming home, you scared her off. i spoke to her yesterday..dad she's only nineteen. you couldnt have stopped for her? you couldnt have let her be a crutch? but you could let her leave, thinking you hated her? you had to fucking hit her..
"daddy im leaving." i said with out looking back.
"you're only fourteen, where are you gonna go?" you asked.
but daddy i had already walked out of the door.
