Sherlock's secret

CHAPTER 6

JOHN'S POV

The steady beep, beep, beep of the heart monitor attached to his friend grew faster. John whipped his head up, mentally running over all the dangerous things that could have caused the sudden change in heart rate. But his gaze locked on Sherlock's now open eyes. He was awake.

His own heart started racing, and his hands trembled as he rose up out of his chair. The silence of things unsaid was suffocating, and John could hardly breathe.

Sherlock opened his mouth to speak, to say something, anything, but was cut off by a sharp slap across the face. He looked up into John's eyes, and all the anger he had just summoned, melted away.

John was standing there, eyes closed, a tear leaking from each. Sherlock reached out a shaky hand and wrapped his thin fingers around his best friends wrist, just letting him know he was there.

"I'm sorry," John started. "It's just... Jesus Sherlock, YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME," he yelled. "I thought you were going to die and I was going to be left all alone again and I couldn't - I couldn't - It -"

"God, John, I'm the one that is sorry," his voice came out as barely a whisper, and he wasn't entirely sure John was even listening. "I just, I - I didn't think I mattered. I mean, you have Mary and I'm just this burden on you -"

"Stop it. Right now. Sherlock, can't you see?" Sherlock's blue-green eyes stared up at him in confusion, and John realized he would have to admit everything pent up inside of him. "You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You are smart and talented and just pure amazing," his voice dropped, as he said "You are everything opposite of what is carved into your skin."

Sherlock's face melted back into the blank, uninterpretable form it usually was and he pulled his hand out of John's grip, leaving his hand cold. He was closed off again, and John knew wouldn't be getting anymore out of him.

Sighing, he sank back down into the chair and waited for Sherlock to fall asleep. As the beep, beep, beep of the monitor finally slowed back into a steady rhythm, he crept outside the room to call Mycroft.