A Black Girl (Book 1)

Lights Out

CAUTION: Strong language and violence. Read at your own risk!

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I expect hell the following week, I almost welcome it, but I receive nothing, nothing except for this new bitchy Ciara and her snide remarks that she never really liked me as a friend.

Finals are over, the TAKs test's are over and even though I'm still friendless and boyfriend less at this state I'm ok. I'm welcoming the summer, it's going to be a hard one, but I'm ready for it.

Kendra flips me off as I pass her by, and she does the same thing she's been doing since the Friday I clowned her at school. She oinks at me, tells me that no matter how much I starve myself I'll never be as thin as her.

Ciara's told her everything.

Ciara leans against her locker and looks at her nails as Kendra bashes me, "Oink Oink Bitch. Thrown up lately?"

"What's it to you Nympho? Sucked any testes lately? Tea bagging ho!"

This isn't like me at all. I've never been so forceful, I've never stood up for myself this much and although I like it, it scares me. It makes me think I've allowed my environment to influence me. I've become just like everybody else.

Kendra moves her hand in a mouthing motion, her cronies stand beside her with their arms folded, "Talking that shit like you won't get hit," Kendra sings.

I haven't spoken to Ciara in a while. The last time we talked we were friends. I hold the strap of my backpack. I'm invigorated, this is the last day of school and I'm gonna get this off my chest, "Can't say anything CiCi? I thought you were my friend!"

She rolls her eyes and mutters, "Why the fuck is she talking to me?"

"You know why," I'm not giving up on this, not today. I deserve answers, "Meanwhile you were fucking my boyfriend."

She's mad now, it's like some unseeable force comes over her and she's suddenly ready to rip my throat out, "I was with Jamal before you were! You know what? I never even liked your ass, I never saw what was so good about you."

I'm at a loss for words, "You never told me you were going with Jamal, how was I supposed to know?"

"You're just another simple bitch who don't know shit Roshni. Jamal was mine, I just let you have him when I was finished with him."

If I'm simple then she must be bitter because I hear sadness in her words. I grasp my backpack strap tighter, "Or either he was through with you. You probably spread your legs so fast he didn't see any point in claiming you."

She throws her head back and laughs, "That's why nobody likes you. You think you know everything. You think just because you aint been screwed that you're miss holier than thou, but Jamal told me about what yall did."

The color drains from my face, my tongue feels like leather, "We aint do anything."

My vernacular is slipping, I'm becoming one of them.

"I told you I knew Jamal before you. We aint neva gonna stop being best friends and you know what?" She leans forward and crosses her arms, "My cookie still gonna be better than yours because he keeps coming back for a taste."

Kendra laughs beside her, Ciara considers her for a minute and there's tension between the two of them for a while. Neither one are wholly friends, they've just teamed up for the sake of tearing me down.

Kendra looks away from Ciara and shrugs, "I told yo ass I run this school. You think Jamal been keeping his mouth shut? That mothafucka probably running around telling all yo business. "