[ p o e t r y 2]

The Alumni Ache

I'm excited to grow up,
To graduate,
To rent a house and have a room of my own
That I pay to keep.
I'm excited to pay my first water bill
And learn to cook something besides spaghetti.
I'm excited to see where my
Relationship goes
And I'm excited to have the freedom to travel.
But at the same time
I ache from the hurt
Of leaving the college I love behind.
I feel as though
The graduation and the change
Are carving out my heart
With the dullest of butter knives.

I'm excited to live
To learn to live as an adult
But oh how I've lived
And how I've loved living
In the community
I've found here.
I'm excited to be my own
But I ache and shatter
For the loss of the love I've found here.

I want to grow
But the distance still breaks my heart.

So when you ask me,
On Saturday,
"Are you excited?"
Please know,
I'm telling the truth when I say "yes!"
My voice just trembles
Because my very bones ache
At the thought of leaving
My safe place
And my most favorite people behind.

Soon we will be memories.
Soon we will be alumni.
Soon I will have to say,
"My college roommate used to..."
And not,
"This morning Michelle did."

I am excited,
I promise I am,
My heart just aches too badly tonight
To feel the excitement
I know is there

05/15/24