Red Red Rosie

Chapter Six

The late afternoon breeze whooshes past my face carrying upon its invisible back a soothing concoction of sounds - the rumble of traffic, the hum of distant voices, the twittering of birdsong. Despite the serenity of my surroundings I cannot help but feel the shadow following close behind me, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I try to distract myself from that prickling feeling - by looking in shop windows, looking at the clouds move in the sky, by checking my phone once, twice.

But nothing works.

Why was that shadow bothering me so much today? It has not backed off since I woke up this morning! However, I refuse to give in. It will not get me today. No, I shall be strong. I keep my legs moving. I pick up the pace. I have no idea why. I am in no hurry, and I know that I won't outrun the darkness.

I never can.

Yet here I am pounding my feet against the pavement as though I am trying to escape from something, someone. But who am I running away from - myself?

I must look ridiculous.

"You are being ridiculous!" Luke called after me as I stormed my way home. "Rosie! Wait! Rosie stop!"

I stopped, and as he reached me he grabbed my arm so that I couldn't escape again. He stood there catching his breath and managed to get out "Thank you" between quick bursts of air.

I said nothing, I didn't even turn to look at him.

"What are you doing, Rosie? We were having a good time I thought."

"I just need to go home."

To get the lipstick. That's what I needed. I needed the lipstick. It was all I could think of.

"What brought this on?"

"I - I don't know..." And I didn't, I really didn't know. I checked my makeup before leaving for the bar, I thought it was fine. I was sure I'd be fine! But when I saw it in the mirror in the ladies', in another light, panic began to make my stomach sink.

I needed the lipstick.

"I need to go home, please Luke."

"Right?" he said with a scowl, he looked as though he was studying me for a moment, then a change came upon him and he raised his brow. "Oh! Right! Okay. I think I understand. It's okay we can go home."

This sudden change in demeanour almost gave me whiplash. I had no idea what it was he claimed to "understand" I was pretty sure that he didn't suddenly have awareness that I had the last dose of crimson lipstick that would magically return my youth. However, I was getting what I wanted so I decided against questioning him on the matter and allowed him to lead me back to the flat. His caring, understanding arm was hugging around my confused shoulders.

We walked and no words were exchanged, not until we stepped over the threshold and he closed the door behind us.

"Okay," Luke said after he took off my jacket and hung it up for me. "Go and do what you need to do, and I'll warm up a hot water bottle and find you some chocolate."

He then disappeared into the kitchen and I slowly made my way across the flat's tiny corridor to the bedroom.

I shut the door and as soon as my dresser was in sight I forgot all about Luke's strange behaviour. I rushed to the drawer, where I carefully hid the golden cylinder. I pulled at it and of course it was locked. I then fumbled my way across the table top to grab the key which was stored away in a wooden jewellery box with a clasp. As I struggled to get it open my logical thoughts caught up with me and I stopped.

What am I doing? I thought.

If I was to use the last of the lipstick, Luke was surely going to notice the difference in me. Also, if I put on the lipstick Luke would be different, he'd no longer have freewill, and no longer would I be able to trust anything that he said from then on. Every compliment would have no real meaning and his "I love you"s would become empty.