Chains

Chapter 2

As a wise man once said ,feelings are like temperatures. Curiosity is warm, attraction is warmer, anger is boiling. Hate can torch, but can also freeze. Love on the other hand is the most unpredictable of them all. It can be scorching hot, offering you third degree burns while devastatingly cold at the same time.

When I caught a glimpse of her yesterday, it was safe to say that I experienced all these feelings. I wanted to approach her. I wanted to hold her in my arms again, letting the sweet scent of her perfume fill my nostrils. I wanted to feel the touch of her plump lips on mine once more. I wanted to apologize for all the pain I've caused her. But I couldn't.

Not only was her sister attempting to form a barrier between us but I saw a certain look on her face. A look that I've never seen before. For the first time, she seemed emotionless. She didn't even spare me a glare nor annoyed look. She didn't furrow her eyebrows as she normally would and neither did she do her famous eye roll. She sported a blank expression that was foreign to me.

But how does one apologize for something like that? How does one make up for all the pain that their actions had caused?

Regret flowed through my veins. How was I suppose to face someone that I've caused so much pain. How was I suppose to approach her knowing that I wasn't even worthy enough to receive some sort of emotion or reaction from her?

My mother always told me that regrets were moral residues; something hard to get off of you when you did something against your better judgment. I tried to forget and leave the past behind. But that poisonous feeling came back as I saw her in that line. After two years my eyes were again graced with her presence. I almost didn't recognize her with that new haircut and colour. Her long flowing black hair was now to the shoulders and light brown.

I didn't think it was possible but she was even more beautiful than she was before. Although we hadn't interacted with one another, I could tell she was more mature; a new and improved woman.

I fumbled with the ring in my hand. The ring she gave back to me when my acts of cheating were revealed to her. The ring she gave back when she was made aware that I was expecting a child with another woman. The ring she gave back after she called off our engagement. The ring she gave back after I broke her heart.

"What do you mean I'm the father" I yelled, staring in disbelief at the woman before me. Despite my frantic demeanor, Carolina remained calm. As much as it shouldn't ,her tranquility made me even more irritated. How could someone be so calm in such a situation? Did she not understand the seriousness of our actions? We were only 19 for god's sake. 19 with a child on the way.

"Neymar you know what I mean" she said calmly, looking down at her feet, "if you don't want to be a part of this child's life its fine. I can do this my-"

"Are you insane?" I yelled, cutting off her statement. I may not be the happiest person about this right now, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let her raise our baby alone.

"But your football career-" she started, looking into my eyes," I don't want to impose-"

"Carolina stop! I was just as involved in this as you were. " I said to her, feeling my self calm down a bit, "I will be a part of this child's life"

She cracked a small smile then nodded her head. Her smile however faded as her attention was on something behind me. Or should I say someone.

"Louisa I-" Carolina said, cause me to whip my head around to see my fiancé. I watched as she forced a smile at us as she looked down, trying to hide her tears. Her hand played with the ring on her hand.

I could literally hear my heart breaking as I watched her silently cry. I tried getting closer to her but she stepped back with every step I made.

"Louisa baby, I -I" I searched hard for the right words to say but none seemed to come to mine.

"I'm sorry baby" I said, finally getting to hold her in my arms. She wept silently on my shirt for a few minutes until she pushed me away, placing our engagement ring in the palm of my hands.

" Louisa please don't" I said to her as tears filled my eyes. I begged her to forgive me for the millionth time. She slowly shook her head making the tears flow down my cheeks.

"You've done this way too many times" were the last and only words she said to me. I watched as she escaped my grasp and ran out the door without sparing me a second look.

Was it in my genes to always screw everything up. The only girl I cared about. The only girl who forgave me of all my past mistakes. The only girl who looked pass my flaws. The only girl who loved me for me. The only girl who had a piece of my heart was now gone.

"Neymar! Snap out of whatever daze you're in. You have a match in 30 minutes. Get yourself together! And that's an order"

I looked up at the man before me. His voice had a strict tone to it but his expression spelled worry. I nodded my head as a reply, finding no words to say to him. He flashed me another worried look then moved on to my other teammates.

My head made its way into my hands as I took in a sharp breath. How was I going to forget about her in 60 minutes if I couldn't even do it in two years?