I'm in love with a monster

Chapter 3

After the movie was over we all realized that the girls didn't have a ride home.

Robby offered to walk them home- the west side of town was only about 20 miles away- but they wanted to call a friend and have them come get them.

Robby finally talked them into letting us drive them home in his car after no one picked up.

I think they were still a little scared of us.

It seemed funny to me that Stoners were just like us.

I thought it was the money that separated us.

"No," the redhead said slowly when I said this.

"It's not just money. Part of it is, but not all. You monster have a different set of values. You're more emotional. We're sophisticated- cool to the point of not feeling anything. Nothing is real with us. You know, sometimes I'll catch myself talking to a friend, and realize I don't mean half of what I'm saying."

She smiled at me.

"I never told anyone that. I think you're the first person I've ever really gotten through to."

I think it was probably because I was a monster, and younger; she didn't have to keep her guard up with me.

"Rat race is a perfect name for it," she said.

"We're always going and going and going, and never asking where. Did you ever hear of having more than you wanted? So that you couldn't want anything else and then started looking for something else to want? It seems like we're always searching for something to satisfy us, and never finding it. Maybe if we could lose our cool, we could."

My eyes turned wide when I realized she was right.

Stoners were always behind a wall of aloofness, careful not to let their real selves show through.

I've seen them fight at a rumble, they fought coldly and practically and impersonally.

"So that's why we're separated," I said.

"It's not money, it's feeling- you don't feel anything and we feel too violently."

Robby and the other girl weren't even listening to us.

They were engaged in some wild conversation that made no sense to anyone but themselves.

I kind of have a reputation for being quiet, almost as quiet as Antonio.

Robby always said he wondered why Antonio and I were such good buddies.

"You must make such interesting conversations," he'd say, raising an eyebrow, "you keeping your mouth shut and Antonio not saying anything."

But Antonio and I understood each other without saying anything.

Nobody but Patricia could really get me talking.

The other girl who was talking to Robby gasped, "Oh no...look who's coming."

We all looked and saw a blue Mustang coming down the street.

All Stoners have Mustangs.

I don't know why, they just do.

But it's how we know that they're coming, because no one in our neighborhood can afford one.

"What are we going to do?"

"Who is it?" Robby asked. "The FBI?"

"No," the redhead said bleakly, "it's Cardez and Bob."

"Your boyfriends?" Antonio said.

Antonio's voice was steady, but standing as close to him as I was, I could see he was trembling a little.